Chapter 1

•~Chapter 1: It's only the beginning~•

Hi, my name is Chanelle. I am fifteen years old. I have four siblings named Jessica, James, Jesse, and Janelle. They mean the world to me but the one person I need in my life more than anyone is my grandfather Kyle.

When I was six, my grandfather passed away from cancer. I remember visiting him in the hospital every day after school. I remember the day when I was sitting on his bedside holding his hand when all of a sudden his arm fell limp. I've never cried so hard in my life. I sat there on his hospital bed for days until my mother force me to leave.

Nine years have passed and here I am now. Suffering from depression. Wanting to die. Given up on life. Yup I guess you could say I'm that "Emo Girl" that sits in the back of the classroom doodling all over their notebook. I have been diagnosed with Social Anxiety. That means I am utterly terrified of speaking to people unless I am extremely close to a person. I know you're probably thinking "the only way to get close to people is to talk." Well my way of thinking is all jumbled up.

I enjoy being alone. Don't ask me why, I don't have an answer. I express my feelings through writing. I write songs, poems, and all other kinds of things. My brothers and sisters, even my parents are all athletes. They are always at the gym or jogging around town while I am home alone like a bump on a log.

•~ Winter of 2010 ~•

9:25pm..

I woke up from my restless slumber that has been interrupted from the obnoxious sounds of the winter winds outside my window. I decided to go relax at the community park, so I slipped on my coat and my jeans, grabbed some thick socks and slid on my boots and left my warm home.

I popped in my earbuds while I traveled down the sidewalk. Glancing down at my iPod, I change the song to "Bring me to life" by "Evanescence." When I finally reach my destination, I head toward the swings. I sit peacefully on the swing twiddling my scrawny fingers. In the corner of my eye I see a tall, skinny boy walking in my direction. I stand up off the swing in a fast, frightened way and head in the other direction.

"Wait!" The strange boy yelled behind me.

I glance over in his direction and make perfect eye contact. It's like time froze. Bad memories were gone, he was the only thing in my mixed up mind. Things were calm and peaceful for me, and for once, I was not depressed.