live then love

for Liz

  this is just something to vent on since i've never made a love story.

 so my girlfriend goes to a different school, hangs out with different people, has different friends, and goes to different classes everyday. one of my many problems is that i get jealous very easily and i have been trying to work on it my whole life. and i know people say it's all something i can change if i just put my mind to it or it's something that i could change if i wanted to but it's really not that easy for me. she is a very beautiful, amazing, smart, loving, and caring girl and i'm afraid of losing her. i would do anything for her. if she asked me to go 100 miles i would find a way. even when i fuck up she still finds a way to forgive me. i'm extremely thankful for that. if i could take back every mean or hurtful thing i ever said to her i would. i would take it all back in a heartbeat. i would pay any amount of anything for her love and trust. i would pay any cost for her happiness even if it means sacrificing my own. i would never mean to hurt her in any way. i would take away all of her pain and replace it with nothing but happiness and i'm doing my damndest to do so. i know it's not working out too well but i will keep trying and change many things along the way until i make her happy. i know at some points i can be very annoying and other times i can be a dick but i'm trying my hardest to change it and it all comes with time. i want to be the guy she can come to in her darkest times. i want to be the shoulder she can cry on whenever she needs to. i know i can be a bad boyfriend but i'm really trying. in the end i will make it all up to her. i'm not sure how but i'll figure it out. if it means doing something as small as getting her flowers or taking her to a movie or even just talking about her day. i would do anything in my power to help her with anything.so this is for that one girl "i love you baby. im always here for you"S to E