Whenever I am thinking of something that I can't stop thinking about, I write it down. Or I think about it for the next four hours. But I find that writing is much more effective. So, here it goes. (I like to draw, too.)
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This is my second (and favorite) drawing that I have made so far. I used a blank piece of printer paper, a blue and red pen, and approximately seven hours of my life to make this. There is more, but my camera isn't that good.
Thoughts: I know that I am gender fluid. Lately, I've been feeling more and more like a girl. It seems like every day the feeling gets stronger. I've been wondering if I am/will be transgender. I want another relationship. Every time I get into one I seem to get (and stay) happier. When one ends, I fall back into sadness and it takes forever to start one again. I'm almost positive that I have depression, anxiety, and asthma. What's even worse? I don't even know for sure. I hate the way that I look. I wish that I could get a new face, a skinnier chest, and skinnier legs (which is stupid, since I am underweight). I am scared that I won't have my electronics this summer. I have been working so hard on my grades, and I still might not have them. I feel arrogant. I sit around like the sad mess I am, wallowing in sadness, not even caring about what's around me. I guess on the bright side, I'm happy that school's almost over and I'm culminating. I'm mad at myself because I need to do so much to express my emotions (like this).
