Gone.... gone....
The word kept repeating in my head.
It has been two weeks since I left the hospital and things were never going to be the same.
Scott worked less now. He tried to come home more often to check up on me because he was worried I'd do something dangerous.
Mrs.McCall takes Derek during the day and I just lock myself upstairs in Scott and I's bedroom, thankful for the time to cry to myself.
Scott has caught me multiple times but he doesn't stop the crying anymore. There's nothing he can do.
"Kira," he said coming into our bedroom.
"Yes," I turn to him my eyes red and puffy.
Gone...gone...
"Please stop crying baby...I promise we can have another child," he says hopefully.
"I don't want another...I want the one I lost." I say tears welling up again.
"I signed us up for therapy." He says looking down. I stare at him as if he's a crazy man. "What did you just say to me?"
"You're not well and i won't put up with you torturing yourself anymore Kira... Baby...I love you. Why won't you let me anymore,"
"Because I don't want to lose another child ever again scott... That wasn't fair." I shook my head at him.
"I deserved our baby," I strode over to him anger making its way into me.
"I want my baby," I begin punch and kicking him and he grabs my arm trying to defend himself without hurting me.
"Kira stop!" He yells at me.
"No! Give me my baby! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair!" I fall to the Floor in his arms sobbing.
"I'm so sorry I can't do that baby."
"No...." I cry even more.
"Mommy...." I hear a distant son from the doorway and I turn to see Melissa and Derek.
Melissa- I'm sorry I didn't think that you'd... I'm sorry.
She began to pull on Derek's arm but he jerked back and ran towards me crying.
I immediately sucked it up and wrapped my arms around my crying little boy.
Scott rubbed his head gently before standing up and hugging his mother.
" it's okay...mommy's going to be okay," I say to Derek with my eyes locked on Scott and Melissa the whole time.
"Everything is going to be okay...."
