The Grey Area

The Beginning.

My name is Arren Kae. There are many mysteries and lessons in this galaxy of ours; my life shall serve as a lesson for you.

As a young force sensitive, like most children I was taken to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Over the years I was trained in the ways of the force and lightsaber combat. Personally I find lightsabers quite unnecessary and uncivilized.

I excelled in my force abilities. Surpassing my peers I eventually was given the rank of Jedi Knight and dedicated my life to learning the history, possibilities, and then mysteries of the Force. The council found my skills as a historian quite useful and raised me to a Jedi Master.

Over the years I had trained several padawans to knighthood. One in particular consumed my every thought and ideal. Not in the way such as love, I looked upon him as one looks upon an ocean storm destroying all in it's wake, yet cleansing all it touches. He was raw power. I had no doubt he would participate in many great things. His name was Revan.

Approaching my 37th year. I rarely left the temple, let alone my meditation chambers. I was given the order from the council to travel to the Echani worlds and meet with a man named Yusani. Apparently a critical leader of their race.

Why I was sent instead of one of the more diplomatic Jedi? A puzzling question indeed. The council believed my knowledge in historical events, including Echani history left me the best equipped to impress and forge a friendship with Yusani. In my own view, they wished me to use him to strengthen the relationship with the Jedi Order so as they could find more force sensitives amoung the Echani.

My mission was quite simple to complete. I met with Lord Yusani and it seemed we forged a quick connection. One that eludes me still. We spoke for hours, I even laughed. Which is quite a rare thing for me. After spending months in his company, speaking of the Echani history, and learning more about the ways of their people. We grew closer, though i did not truly realize the critical foolish mistake I had made until I felt the soft touch of his lips.

I knew Yusani had been pledged to an Echani woman. We both tried to resist after that first kiss. For a time perhaps, I convinced myself that such a dalliance would never occur again. Then that night happened. Yusani and I were having a business dinner. Too much wine I suppose. Before I realized what was happening our bodies were locked in a heated embrace and I proceeded to make many mistakes that night.

After that I could not just let him go, nor could he leave me. We were....in love. I'd finally admitted it. We proceeded a long love affair. Just before my mission was at an end, I discovered that I was carrying his child. When he learned of this, Yusani was elated. Unfortunately, the pregnancy would have to be hidden while I was back at the Temple.

Nearing the end of my pregnancy, the Mandalorians had began attacking the Republic. The Jedi Council decided to stay out of the conflict and assess the situation further. Not long after they announced their decision; one of my former students expressed their outrage and gathered a large group of Jedi Knights to join the Republic in battle against the Mandalorians. Thus, The Mandalorian Wars began.

During this time I had been wearing bulkier robes and avoiding contact with other Jedi as much as possible. Spending my days meditating and sending secret messages to Yusani. Alas, all secrets are outed eventually.

I was aiding a youngling in her search for data on lightsaber crystals and their differences when the little Twi'lek, without warning reached out and touched my stomach. "It's a girl Master Kae." At first, I was stunned. Then I glanced around and realized several other Jedi Knights and padawans had heard her words. "It won't be long now" I thought. I rushed off to my quarters and began packing my things when my com terminal rang and an automatic message I knew all too well played.

"The council requests and audience. Please report to the council chambers immediately." I then proceeded to the lift to where my fate in the Jedi Order will be decided. Just before I entered the room where the great masters of the order sat encircled. I took a deep breath and recited the Jedi Code in my mind.

Entering the center of the room, I stood in silence. Finally Master Vander spoke. "Arren Kae, you surely must know why you are here." I winced internally at the tone he said my name. How dare he act as if I'm a child in need of scolding?

"I am merely here as a formality. Whatever decision you are going to voice was made long before I arrived." Feeling somewhat satisfied I awaited for their reply. "Perhaps. Though what you have just said proves that we were correct in our judgment of you Master Kae." Said one of the newer members, Atris. In fact, she and I had worked closely for years. I am not surprised by her words.