Resisting Happiness

Epilogue

Epilogue.

“Boss, you should go now or else you might miss your flight.” My assistant Eugene reminds me, more like teases me.

I nod once, swirl around, and face him. “You know I own that jet, right?”

He smiles at me then his face turns serious. “Sir, can I ask a question? A personal one if I may.”

“Eugene, you know you’re like a brother to me, right? Ask away. ” I toss my stress ball up in the air, catching it as it falls down.

“How come you don’t smile?”

I stop playing the stress ball, look at him and smile sarcastically. He rolls his eyes and sighs. “As in like a genuine smile. I have never seen you place a pure, genuine smile on your face before.”

I give him a sad smile. “Because I lost my happiness a long time ago.” I whisper, standing up. I wear my coat and saunter towards the door.

***

As the jet flies toward our destination, I can’t help but drift back to my memories of Maya. Even after years of hardship, I still can’t stop loving her. I have fulfilled my dream to become a new man, I have achieved success and fortune, I have everything I ever wanted but I still feel so empty and hollow. After all this time, I still want her and nothing more; I still her to be beside me always. Sigh, I wonder how she is. Is she still mad at me? Had she moved on with her life? What’s going on with her life? Does she still love me like I love her?

Does she still love me like I love her?

What a pathetic question! Of course not, she probably forgot about me as soon as I left her.

 I didn’t notice Eugene staring at me until he snaps his finger in my face. “Boss, are you okay?”

“Mm?” I ask.

“How about we discuss the Purple Egg account after getting some shut eye, eh, Boss?” He offers.

“’Kay.” I mumble, looking outside the window.

“Cole.” I look at him. He never uses my first name unless it’s a concerned motif or he’s pissed at me because I can’t take him seriously. I guess right now, he’s using my first name because of both reasons. “Talk to me.”

I have a hard time opening up to people ever since Maya shut me down. The last time I told her I love her she didn’t even bother to say the same to me. I opened up to her and loved her, I got too attached and look what happened? I got hurt. Big time. “Nothing.”

“Is this about what I asked you back in New York? About happiness?”

I hesitate but let go. “Yeah, I guess.”

He sighs. “Listen, I’m not sure if this happiness of yours is about a girl or something…” I raise my eyebrows at him and he smirks. “Okay, so I’m right it’s about a girl.”

“It’s nothing, really. She forgot about me—”

“How do you know for sure?”

I remain silent, I consider the subject dropped. He smiles sympathetically at me. “Just get some sleep, Boss.” He stands up and pats my back. “Things always get better in the morning.”

Hopefully.

***

After the meeting, I found myself walking around the city. I stumble upon the park where Maya and I used to go. The surroundings around the park changed since the last time I was here, even the café we used to go to. It changed its entire interior design. I didn’t realize that this is the same park that Maya and I used to go to because of the changes but some things never change, like the bench by the pond and play ground. I sit on the bench and run a hand on the wood, I stop when I notice a little girl staring at me. She has big hazelnut brown eyes and blond hair, she’s small and cute with chubby cheeks. We awkwardly stare at each other until she turns away from me and reads her book. I stare ahead at the pond and sigh heavily.