Curtain Call

Chapter Five

"How did the audition go?" My mom glanced from me to the road and back again. We were driving along a narrow deserted street, searching for Crystal East Hospital.

"It was good, I guess." I wasn't really paying attention to her. I was busy dreading the white walls and the hand sanitizer and the coughing and the bleary-eyed children and the big machines and, well, everything about the cancer wing of a hospital.

"I know you did wonderful honey," Mom smiled at me, and I returned the gesture. She needed no convincing when I asked if she could pick me up after school, being as I had missed the bus. Ever since the drastic improvement of my condition, she let me do anything I wanted. Today especially since it was a check-up day. She not only knows of my abhorrence for hospitals, but she shares it.

We somehow managed to find our way to the dreaded hospice and after parking, we walked through the double doors to check in with a receptionist. The first thing I noticed about the place was the smell. I inhaled deeply, barely able to believe it. It smelled of fresh, clean clothes and newness. I looked over at my mom in amazement and she returned my wide-eyed stare, a smile slowly growing on her face

"Do you smell that?" I asked.

"It's a nice change," she replied. We walked up to the receptionist who sent us to a waiting room. After two minutes of waiting, I told my mom that I needed some water and set off on a mission to find the water fountain.

I was successful but after taking my drink, I was forced to admit that I had no idea where I was or how I got there. Since I did not feel like talking to anyone, I wandered off on my own.

I followed a nice looking nurse for a while and found myself in a hall that housed the long-term cancer patients. The little kids there broke my heart with their smiles. I averted my eyes trying to suppress the flood of memories that threatened to overwhelm me. A word echoed in my head at their cheeriness: Unfair.

I turned a corner to escape the children's laughter, which echoed through the hall and came face to face with the worst room. I stopped in my tracks, unable to move. My eyes fixated on the sign, Chemotherapy. I touched my ring, remembering how I was forced to take it off in the time when I needed it most. Regaining control of myself, I turned around and started to run, not caring where. As I turned this way and that, despite my efforts, the horrible memories finally bubbled to the surface of my mind

Me, in a rough paper gown lying on a hard table. Me, in a straight-backed chair, listening to the soft buzz of the razor that was shaving off my hair. Me, choking out tears at post-seizure pain and soreness. Me, watching the neon green light envelop my body through my closed eyelids. Family crying, people watching, friends avoiding, it all hit me like a flood; the memories that I promised myself I would repress.

Running, panting, losing speed, I saw something through my tears. Color. I slid to a stop, backed up and to my amazement, discovered that one of the hospital rooms in the hall had colored walls. The ones I could see were the primary colors. One red, one blue, one yellow. I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes, and slowly walked toward the bright room.

"Hi!"

There was a little boy sitting on the bed. A sweet smile lit up his pale face. He had a bony frame. His hospital gown hung off his shoulder loosely; two sizes too big, making him look rather skeletal. His shiny shaved scalp caught the light of the flickering light bulb above his head. His piercing ice blue eyes hungrily took in my appearance and shone with delight at the sight of someone new.

"Hello," I smiled back at him, "Your room is beautiful!"

"Thanks, Daddy had the doctors paint it. What's your name?" The little boy asked. He looked about five, but it was hard to tell because he was so skinny.

"I'm Emery, what's yours?"

"Clay. I'm six." Clay.

"Whatcha got there, Clay?" I pointed to the cards that were scattered across the mattress. Clay looked down and started to explain.

"This is Rocket Go Fish. These are my cards and this is the other guy's cards. See, I've got three pairs! He doesn't have any! I'm winning!"

I looked at the empty place with "the other guy's" cards. "Who is playing with you Clay?"

"I am playing both until Daddy gets back, or maybe Sissy." He continued to smile at me. My heart went out to him. "Would you like me to play with you until they get back?"

Clay beamed at me and clapped his hands, "Oh! That would be awesome!" I smiled, sat down, picked up the hand, and we started to play.

We played three straight games (I let Clay win all of them) before a nurse came to see what Clay's squeals and laughter were about. She scowled at me.

"Ok, it is time for Clay to rest, Miss.....?"

"Emery"

"Miss Emery."

"Awww," Clay looked from me, to her, and back to me. "Do I have to?"

"Yes sir, say 'goodbye' to your friend here."

Clay threw his arms around me and I hugged him back, surprised at first but genuinely touched by the gesture.

"You will come to visit, won't you?" Clay looked at me with his irresistible blue eyes, "please say you will!"

I looked at him and smiled, "I'll try."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

The nurse cleared her throat, so I waved at my new little friend and with a full heart, left to find my mother.

I was coming up on the end of a hall. There was another nurse in front of me. Clipboard in hand, she read from it, proclaiming her news to the waiting room beyond the double doors. For the second time that day, I heard my name.

"Emery Vasil?"

"Right here."

The nurse wheeled around in surprise. She opened her mouth to say something but I beat her to it, "Don't ask."

She sighed and let my mother into the hallway before leading us into one of the identical side rooms. My mom shot me a confused look, but decided not to press the issue.