ONLINE NOW (MAX FANFIC)

CHAPTER 12

         Max silently stared at the computer monitor. He had been waiting patiently for Hana to go online for almost two hours now.

            It has been three days since she walked out on him. His heart was still aching whenever he thought of what happened that day. He couldn't stop himself from crying. He had tried calling Hana, but her phone was shut off. He wanted to talk with her again and apologize. He couldn't leave things as it was. He was missing her so much that it was already driving him mad.

            Slowly tears started falling down again. Max was feeling so helpless. He didn't know what to do. He was very sure he loved Hana and he didn't want to lose her. He was willing to do anything just to have her back. His tears continued to fall as he stared blankly at the computer monitor.

            Hana was quietly staring at the computer. Max had been online in YM for almost two hours. She had logged in as invisible to everyone on her YM because she didn't want to talk to Max. She didn't know what to say to him. She had also shut off her phone because she was sure that Max would try to call her.

            Hana's eyes were filled with tears as she stared at Max's picture on the computer monitor.She had been looking at his picture on the internet for three days now. She still couldn't believe that the Max she had been talking to for the last three months is also the same Max that a lot of girls in Korea were crazy about.

            Hana smiled . . . . as she gently touched Max's picture on the monitor. She was also a DBSK fan. She just loved listening to their songs. But she had never imagined even in her wildest dreams that she would meet and fall in love with one of them. Looking at Max's picture . . . . she couldn't stop herself from crying. She was missing him badly.

            Then she suddenly remembered the words he said to her . . . .

            “Hana . . . .I love you . . . .can you please love me back?”

            Hana smiled. “I love you Max . . . .with all my heart. But . . . .I don't think that I am right for you. You deserve someone better. I'm afraid that I would only be a bother to you. You have such a successful and wonderful life . . . .Max. I don't want to ruin it. I know a lot of problems will suddenly appear if we continue with our feelings for each other. I'm sorry, Max. I know you must be suffering right now . . . .but I am suffering as well Max. I'm sorry I can't even tell you . . . . I love you,” Hana said as she stared at Max's picture. Her tears were constantly falling one by one.

            Then suddenly she received an audio message from Max. At first, she was hesitant to listen to it. But after a few minutes, she finally opened it.

            “Hana . . . . I'm sorry . . . . Please forgive me. I didn't want to lie to you at that time. I really couldn't tell you who I was. Please understand . . . . I never meant to hurt you . . . .and I never meant to lie to you. I know I was wrong. Please forgive me . . . .I'm missing you . . . .Please talk to me . . . .I'm begging you . . . .Please give me one more chance . . . .I love you . . . .and I don't want to lose you. Please Hana . . . .I love you . . . .Please forgive me . . . . Hana. . . .”

            Hana could hear  Max's sobs as he said those words. She could hear and feel his suffering through his voice. It was driving her crazy just thinking how sad and hurt Max was. How she wished she could go to wherever he was and comfort him and hold him in her arms. How she wished she could tell him how she really felt about him.

            If she could only tell him that she loved him too . . . .she knew all the pain they were both feeling would eventually disappear.

            But she couldn't . . . .she was too afraid of the consequences. He was a famous singer and she was a nobody. They would never fit each other. He lived a glamorous life . . . . .he had everything he needed . . . . money and fame . . . . while she . . . she had nothing. She couldn't even buy afford to buy herself some decent clothes to wear on special occasions. So how could someone like her possibly fit in with someone like Max. Her life was way too different with his. She would only be a disgrace to him. She certainly didn't want him to be embarrassed because of her. So to avoid all the hurt and the embarrassment, she has to stop . . . .stop herself and stop her emotions while she still can.

            “I'm sorry Max . . . .Even if I love you . . . .I'm sorry I can't tell you . . . .I'm sorry . . . I can't show you . . . .I'm sorry . . . . You will never know the truth about how I truly feel about you . . . .” Hana said as she finally sobbed and cried uncontrollably.

            She had been trying to control herself. But after hearing Max's voice . . . .she couldn't control herself any longer. Her heart was already being torn into pieces. She was in so much pain she had to cry out.

            If only she was rich . . . .or Max wasn't famous. . . . . maybe things could work out between them. But she had to accept the truth . . . . she was poor and Max was a star. No matter how they tried to work a relationship between them . . . .it could never work out.

            “I'm sorry . . . .Max . . . .” Hana said as she stared at the computer monitor.