From a Distance

Prologue

The cheap, worn down sandals shredded into my feet, making them callused and unappealing. I left the camera, looking up at it again to make sure it retained its balance. I shoved my finger into the strap, scratching the back of my ankle as the material barely stretched around my aching heels. I tore off one shoe then the next, being sure to quietly place them next to me. The stained carpet floor smelled of pneumonia and I feared for my safety, but I knew I had to do this. Not only for myself, but for him as well. He wasn't safe with her.

When I looked up again, a breeze came in through the creaked open window, making the camera titter lightly with the wind. The air was warm, a sudden haze was happening the past few days. My fingertips went up for the camera, pulling it into my chest before the wind knocked it over. My heart pounded. I knew I wasn't safe here, someone would eventually find me. Someone's got to refurbish this old house eventually. I pulled my knees into my chest, my breathing radically slowing. My heart pumped quicker, then it snapped. 

I held onto the windowsill pulling my stuff together, I need to get out. I shoved my toes through the sandals, grabbing my bag and shutting the window so heavily it cracked in the corner. I bent over picking up piece by piece of clothing I had strewn about earlier, someone's going to get me. I huddled my body to the door, swinging it open with my less than free hand. Nothing was there. My heart jumped, my lungs bursting back to life, I fell to the floor, the numbing pain excruciatingly terrible. I tried to huddle into a small corner, but I couldn't move, my eyes had worked but my legs refused. I need to go, now. 

My brain screamed with agony, the carpet against my stomach and face. The moldy smell of asbestos made my nose be wrung with pain as I felt a drop, a warm drop onto it. Blood. I need to move, I need to get out quickly, someone's going to find me, someone's going to get me, I'm going to be dead. My heart rate increased as my lungs took full-lead direction. I flung with torso up, a big breath of air, with blood dripping down my nasal cavity into my esophagus, my breath tasted like metal. My knees were quick to action as I huddled my things together in my arms, I fled down the rickety stairs. As I ran the snapping noise seem to catch up to me, closer and closer. Sprinting down the stairs, I opened a door.

A dark, empty closet stood in front of me, where my legs collapsed again, this time, my vocal chords groaned, I felt cold tears dripping down onto the floor, my bloody nose being made worse by hitting my heard against the wall on the way down in the closet. My abdomen ached and my lungs burned, a lit wild fire in the middle of the dry, California forest. Everything burned, the asbestos making my lungs feel better with every breath. I felt around with my right hand, closing the door from the underside of it. The darkness seemed to help my body relax as my eyes started to pulse with neon colors. I NEED TO GET OUT!

My brain took over and flung my body back, smashing my skull into the thickset door. My nose bleed intensified, more metal-tasting blood made my mind whirl with affliction. My body leant forward again, then smashed more into the door. I felt warm blood drip down my neck from my hair. My body moved more rapidly now as I continued striking forcefully against the door, one bash after the other. The asbestos in the air filled my lungs and I smiled. I felt my underwear become warm, my urine gushing down my legs as my head fell forward then back, straight into the wooden door. I felt my eyes pulse with my heartbeat and my hands became shaky. I went back and forth, rapidly, beating my head against the door with blood flowing from my skull. 

I stopped. My heart stopped with my lungs crushing inside of me. I smiled with love in my heart. My vocal chords shredded themselves to pieces as I began to tug on my hair. I ripped out lock after lock of hair as my screaming became deafening to my very own ears. My own life, my body, masochistically killing myself with every blow to head. My body jumped to its knees as I crawled on half of my legs. With a loving stare of my own eyes, I screamed delightfully and rammed my head into the wall that was close to the left of me. I screamed with pleasure once again and forced my head into the wall the right of me. My voice was low but high in spirit as I felt my underwear become wet again, this time not my urine. Blood.

My abdominal muscles clenched hard as the blood flowed out of my urethra, my kidneys failing to remove the blood from the waste cells. My ears burned with satisfaction as I slammed my head forward into the wall. I smiled dozily, my smile to perfect to exclude from the writhing torment that is myself. I smiled widely, smashing my full face forward into the wall, my teeth crackling, breaking most of them. I swallowed the ones I could and choked a few out that resisted. I obliterated my head into the door again, more and more blood coming from my nose. I smiled with a toothless grin.  I calmed down by now.

I slowly swiveled my legs out from underneath me and breathed heavily. My broken nose made it so I had to breath through my mouth. I smiled, happy. He loves me. I imagined him with me in field, playing around and kissing every moment we got. The smell of the air around me turned sweet and sweeter. The warmth blazed and made my throat burn with excitement. I love him so much. I love you Jonathan Lyle. You know, he doesn't love you. What? Of Course he does. Who would love a freak sociopath like you? Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about. You Know you're crazy, just a psychopathic freak, abnormal to nature. Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! My eyes closed harshly, feeling my tears come down carefully. He doesn't even know you exist, you're so stupid. No, I'm not. I love him, and I'll have him. Just you wait.