PLEASE (don't) LEAVE

Chapter 55

Caspar's POV

I woke up in the middle of the night, my face covered in sweat and feeling so hot. I feel somewhat out of breath and as soon as I open my eyes I realize it again. Joe is not here yet.

I've been here since yesterday night and it has been over 24 hours since I came home in an empty apartment. I grab my phone, my hand is shaking. I scroll through my contacts and stop when I see Zoe's number. I'm so worried that something happened to Joe, yet I don't want to call him.

"What?" A sleepy voice finally answers the phone when I called for the 6th time. "Zoe.." I say softly. Tears already fill my eyes, even though I don't want to. "Caspar?" Her voice sounds a lot more awake now. "Hold on, I'm going to leave the bedroom." She whispers and I hear the soft sound when her feet meet the floor.

"Hey Casp, everything okay?" She asks then. "You've called me 6 times and it's like 4 am?" I feel so guilty for waking her up. "Is.. I-Is Joe w-with you?" I ask, my voice cracking every now and then. "No, I thought he was at home. He did come by two days ago to look for you, are you guys playing hide and seek or something?" She asks laughingly.

I sigh deeply. "I wish we were..."

--

I grab the bowl and milk to make myself some cereal. I didn't sleep at all last night, obviously. I thought Joe was with Zoe but he weren't. He has been looking for me. But how come that he didn't check if I was with Oli? That would have been the first place I'd look if I was him.

I mix the cereal for the umpteenth time. I just stare at how the little pieces of cereal move away from my spoon, like they're avoiding it. Some pieces stick to the spoon but as soon as the milk gets to it, the piece of cereal will go and acts like the other cereal.

Is Joe avoiding me as well? Is Joe the cereal and I'm the spoon? Is life the milk maybe?

I push the bowl with cereal away. Come on Caspar, why the fuck are you comparing things in life with cereal?

I stand up from the chair, and put my bowl in the sink. Then I walk to the couch but instead of sitting there, I turn around to go downstairs, but instead of going downstairs, I turn around to the kitchen again. I can't stop changing directions.

I feel so empty and guilty and weird. I grab my phone. I can't handle this anymore. I don't care whether Oli would call this "giving in" or "crawling back", I just need to know if Joe's alright. I have to call Joe, right now.

I press the one button for a long time, and my phone starts ringing Joe's number. I don't have to wait long;

The party you're trying to call-

Why doesn't he answer? Is he upset? Did his phone run out of battery? Did something happen?

I throw my phone away, I look down to my hands. Why did I leave in the first place? If something bad happened, it's all my fault.

As soon as my phone hits the door and then lands on the floor, I hear the door opening. I slowly look up and find two dirty looking All Stars standing in the doorway. I look up a tiny bit, and find out that there is a pair of legs covered in ripped blue jeans, they are all ruined as they have been wet and dirt is all over it.

I don't even have to see more, I recognized this person by the skinny legs he has. I quickly look up to his face, but what I see startles me. His face is all scratched and blood is all over his cheek.

I stand up quickly, but I can't get myself to actually walk to him. His eyes look empty and exhausted. His shoulders are hanging down. Then our eyes meet and I can see some little spark of life in his eyes. He pulls a little smile on his face.

"I've been looking for you, everywhere."