Angels Die

At Itaewon

Remember how I just learned of what Itaewon holds, well because for God knows what, I’ve decided to come and explore Itaewon and actually observe. I’ve been here countless times but, curse the curious ego inside of me and damn everyone bitching about Daehyun and just Daehyun himself! Seriously, it has been four months since that conference, since we’ve actually conversed with each other and when we did, it was never near warm friendly. I tried on my part, Daehyun was just too – tactless or frankly honest whichever you’d see it. His mouth was beautifully shaped, his teeth perfectly aligned, and his smile can be purely honest and yet the words that come out of it just destroy the delicate beauty.

In the little amount of time and moment we’ve been physically close enough for me to make a few observations and to be physically attracted to him, I’ve found myself envious of how fair his skin was, a bit tanned but still flawless save for the blemishes my eyes would notice. At those few moments I wished I haven’t seen those marks and just be totally clueless of what they actually meant because they’d leave me wondering for days on especially when I’d find myself staring into nothingness while I let my brain fry from information overload. My imagination runs wild and my chest would hurt and my appendage would throb achingly needy as well.

So when I saw Daehyun on that same day I was exploring Itaewon, incidentally, it’s melodramatic and plainly exaggerated – the ground beneath me crumbled. At a dark, isolated corner, ignored by everyone, his piercings reflected the moonlight. A stranger’s arm wrapped around his shoulders while the other arm snaked through Daehyun's waist and into his jeans, their lips locked passionately. Briefly, our eyes met, I felt embarrassed but I didn’t know what to do so I smiled awkwardly then left in a hurry. Why was I the one feeling awkward and embarrassed? I wasn’t the one found making out in public.

I beat myself up over a bottle of soju, at a food stall somewhere non-crowded. I needed that peace and quiet anyway. Drinking half the contents already, clearly I was drunk and the only good think about it is that I’ve let myself think and just think. I thought I’ve read as much, heard as much, seen as much as I needed about the world, well, Korea for that matter. I thought that I’ve stocked as much theory I needed to get by with life and had a few experiences to test and try them out. I thought that I was better than everyone, I never cared about what others have said, at least not as much as they do but now, with a half full bottle of soju, I realized I was wrong – just because I saw two men making out and I wasn’t even supposed to feel anything except friendship towards one of them. But then, overrated chick flicks, sappy romantic novels and just friends constantly sharing, showed me that as cliché as it is, Love doesn’t give you any warnings nor does it know gender.

I was ready to call for my second bottle, apparently, first love hurts a lot.

“There you are,” I heard an all too familiar voice, though a voice I don’t want to hear right now but would probably jerk off to while relying on my perverted mind on how it would sound like, much to my pleasure. Someone was pulling at my arm that I had raised to call for the stall owner. We struggled for awhile, I didn’t put up much of a fight, I’m such a frail drunk, pathetic yet again. Daehyun paid for me and then dragged me out somewhere.

                                                                    ~*~

I smell moist ground and heard leaves crackle into pieces as they were stepped on, when I opened my eyes I guessed right, we were at a small park, he had placed me on a bench.

“What’re chu joing here?” I muttered, my words slurred. He scrunches his nose as he covers both mouth and nose. “I don’t need yar hel–” I choked on the words as I feel the contents of that evening trying to climb back up that I had to cover my mouth and lean my head against the back of the bench.