I Watched My Life Crumble In Front Of Me

I watched my life crumble in front of me, slowly and painfully.

I had dreams of different of different time lines. Some of them I had a family and friends that actually cared about me with some of their differences. And others were kinda like the same thing but with some sad or anger emotions fluttering around.

But the worst time line out of all of them was mine. No one was there for me when I needed them most, everyone hated me. Even society it's self hated me.

I tried meeting some online friends some of them left and most of them lied about liking me.

I was shattered, I had to spend most days in my room thinking why am I alive? I want to die! Kill me please! I don't want to relive the same exact emotion I felt in this time line over and over again.

You may be asking, Alexa what is this emotion you felt every day?
This emotion is called Depression.
I could tell me parents that I was feeling down, lonely, useless and suicidal but they would just leave me pretending like nothing ever happened.

I have attempted many times of suicide but I gave up thinking that maybe one day life would get better but no.

I watched my friends move on in front of me while I was still waiting for a day to happen that SOMEONE would care.

After many years of crying and trying to find one person that I believed was there. I finally found him.

I found him the most oddest way possible, a YouTube social media. I was amazed by his talent of animating. So one day I gather up the courage to ask him if he wanted to talk or something. He said sure and we added ech other on Google hangouts. We talked and talked and later on I told him about my time line how it was horrible and that I thought it would just be better if I just passed on to a different life. He denied, knowing him I knew he was the type that didn't think anyone deserves to die. I smiled and ended up talking to him everyday, I knew he cared and when I didn't know he would tell me. I appreciated his company even if stupid time zones had to get in the way sometimes but we always found a way to talk to ech other everyday.

He was the reason why I was here, why I was still alive. He was the person I was waiting for, for years.

~Burnt Alexa Chan