The One Next Door

Locked Out of Heaven

    They ran all the way to their apartment building, where they stopped at the stairs to catch their breath.
"Do you think he actually called the cops?" John asked.
"Wouldn't be the first time." Sherlock sighed. "But no, I don't think he did. We left, that was what he really wanted."
"People have called the police on you before?" John asked doubtfully.
"Mrs. Turner's son was really cute." Sherlock defended, and John just laughed.
"Cuter than me?" John asked.
"Is that even possible?" Sherlock joked.
"Look in the mirror." John suggested.
"Oh, stop it you." Sherlock laughed.
"You two are disgusting." Molly decided, coming down the stairs from her apartment.
"You're back then, how was Tom?" John asked.
"He said that he was scared of you two." Molly decided.
"The message came through then, good." Sherlock agreed with a proud smile.
"But he likes me, and I like him. I think we're good." Molly decided.
"Good as in, good?" Sherlock asked.
"Good as in, we're going out for dinner tomorrow night. And this time, you two aren't invited." Molly insisted.
"We'll show up anyway, be the protective fathers you need." John assured.
"I want you two nowhere near my date, I can't mess this one up." Molly insisted.
"You like him that much then?" Sherlock asked.
"Yes, I do." Molly agreed.
"Good, you deserve to like someone." John decided.
"Ya, after all the time I spent warding off any guys that came in your direction..." Sherlock sighed, reminiscing on the boys of ages past.
"Well, maybe it was for the best." Molly insisted.
"Always looking out for you Molly, I'm a saint." Sherlock decided, holding up his hands to silence their applause. "For the people, that's my motto."
"Shut up Sherlock." John decided, slapping Sherlock lightly in the arm.
"You two look out of breath, where are you coming from?" Molly asked.
"You know that ketchup guy in the burger place?" Sherlock asked.
"Unfortunately. Why?" Molly asked, slanting her eyes in suspicion.
"Well, I we went to get a burger and I threw some ketchup at him, showing him what he missed out on. He threatened to call the cops." Sherlock shrugged.
"You're going to get arrested, and you can't afford bail." John pointed out.
"That's why I have my trustee sidekicks in case something goes south." Sherlock agreed.
"I knew there was a reason you kept me around." Molly sighed.
"So, are we just going to talk in the hallway, or do you guys want to come over to my place?" John offered.
"Why doesn't anyone come to my apartment?" Sherlock asked.
"Ya, why don't we?" Molly asked. John nodded in agreement.
"My place then?" John decided.
"Definitely." Sherlock agreed, and they all trooped up the stairs to John's apartment. When John unlocked the door, Dudley was a cannon ball of fat and fur, flinging himself onto Sherlock's legs and wagging his tail so aggressively that the entire back half of his body shook.
"Darn, we'll have to let him out." John muttered.
"I'll do it. I've never let out a dog, not since my childhood at least." Sherlock shrugged.
"I didn't know you had a dog." Molly insisted.
"I don't really like to talk about it." Sherlock admitted.
"Why not?" John asked.
"That sounds like talking. Give me his leash." Sherlock insisted. John sighed, grabbing Dudley's leash from the empty coat rack and fixing it around the dog's collar.
"Don't let him bark, or go after people, or chase anything, or eat anything mysterious, or take too long or..." John started.
"He's just going to the bathroom, chill out." Sherlock insisted, taking the leash from John with a smile. "Come on, what could go wrong?" Sherlock pointed out.
"That's probably what they said before your birth." John muttered. Sherlock just frowned, but Molly nearly killed herself laughing.
"I'm leaving now." Sherlock decided, tugging Dudley's leash out the door and down the hall. Dudley waddled down the stairs, his little ears flapping as he descended step by step.
"You're a dumb little dog, aren't you?" Sherlock asked with a laugh. Dudley just wagged his tail in response. So Sherlock took out into the brisk fall day, standing in the middle of the grass while Dudley did his thing. It was nearly December, Sherlock could see people hanging up Christmas ornaments and the commercials were already plaguing the TV channels. The winds were getting harsher, the trees bare, and the temperatures colder. Soon it would start snowing, and judging on the low, gray clouds that filled the sky, Sherlock was willing to guess that it just might start to flurry. Dudley's aggressive pulling towards a bird hopping around on the sidewalk told Sherlock that he was done, so he dragged him inside and up the stairs, back to John's apartment. Sherlock knocked, and saw the peephole darken.
"No solicitors." John's voice commanded.
"John, I have your dog." Sherlock pointed out.
"I didn't order a dog, go away." John decided.
"We don't have a moment to listen about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!" Molly's voice yelled from the couch.
"God help me I will break this door down." Sherlock threatened.
"We don't need a census now!" John groaned.
"John, open the BLOODY DOOR!" Sherlock yelled. John's eye moved away from the peep hole and the door clicked open, Sherlock turned the handle and pushed it open.
"No one sees the wizard." John insisted.
"I will murder you one day Watson, just watch me." Sherlock warned, taking the collar off of Dudley, who ran and jumped onto the couch, curling into a ball on Molly's lap. Sherlock felt kind of betrayed, but it was better than fearing he would step on the poor dog's head. John sat next to Molly on the couch, grabbing the TV remote and flipping aimlessly through channels.
"How is it that my dog loves everyone except me?" John asked as Molly scratched Dudley's ears and made little kissy noises.
"If it makes you feel any better, Hell Spawn likes you." Sherlock pointed out, curling on the couch next to John and leaning his head on his shoulder.
"That makes me feel immensely better, the cat likes me." John agreed, ruffling Sherlock's hair and putting his arm around him.
"Aw, you guys are so cute." Molly decided.
"Is Tom going to join the three musketeers, are we going to have to make a new name?" Sherlock asked.
"Since when did we have a name?" Molly asked.
"Since I just made it up, like, thirty seconds ago." Sherlock shrugged.
"More like ten." John decided.
"You're pushing it John, honestly." Sherlock insisted.
"Will we be the fantastic four?" John asked.
"I don't know, I don't know how Tom will fit in, but he'll certainly have a job getting accustomed to us around here." Molly decided.
"I did alright." John shrugged.
"You were unnaturally positive about the whole thing. Sherlock's usually much too aggressive for anyone to stay." Molly sighed.
"I'm not aggressive." Sherlock muttered.
"Once more, you do not want me to go into story teller mode." Molly assured.
"Oh, no I really do." John insisted.
"Wow, what an enlightening and educational television program! Maybe we should all focus our attention on that." Sherlock suggested.
"It's commercials." John pointed out.
"But it's such a good deal on...that's a service announcement." Sherlock muttered.
"Aw, such a great deal on animal abuse!" Molly said sarcastically.
"I can feel Dudley shaking from here." John decided, patting his dog on the head. Dudley, of course, had no idea what was going on, and just made a little grumbling noise in his sleep.
"You smell nice." Sherlock decided, snuggling closer to John's shoulder.
"That's not something you'd hear in a normal conversation." Molly decided.
"I actually just got a new cologne, smells good, huh?" John asked.
"Did I not just say that?" Sherlock sighed.
"I was clarifying dear." John defended.
"I'm sure you are darling." Sherlock agreed.
"Wow, the heterosexuality in this room is just bursting." Molly decided.
"Oh shush." Sherlock insisted, swatting at Molly's face aimlessly.
"So, where are you and Tom going for dinner?" John asked.
"Some fancy Chinese place, he said it would have excellent sushi." Molly pointed out.
"That's romantic. We should do that." Sherlock insisted, poking at John's cheek playfully.
"Who's going to pay for it, you?" John teased.
"Ya, I'm good with takeout." Sherlock shrugged.
"Me too." John agreed. "Girls are too much work; Sherlock understands that money runs out."
"You have to have money in order to know that it runs out." Molly insisted.
"I have plenty of money Molly, well, now I do." Sherlock pointed out.
"Have you gone grocery shopping yet?" John asked.
"I haven't had to feed myself in like three days, it's great." Sherlock said happily.
"And what are you going to do for dinner then?" John asked.
"I have two slices of bread left, and little bit of jelly." Sherlock shrugged.
"Gourmet." Molly teased.
"I'm probably going to end up eating over here anyway." Sherlock pointed out.
"It's not like I have an overabundance of food either." John defended. Both he and Sherlock swung their heads over accusingly at Molly, who put her hands up in defense.
"Don't look at me!" she insisted.
"Oh, but we are." John pointed out, and Molly rolled her eyes.
"Feed yourselves, I'm going to have a night to myself." She decided.
"Is that a trap for us to spend time together alone?" Sherlock asked.
"Well, I feel like I'm always stepping on the romance, getting in the way." Molly shrugged.
"Don't worry Molly, we like having you around." John assured.
"Well..." Sherlock sighed, and Molly scowled.
"You're stuck with me Sherlock, sorry." She insisted.
"Yes, that's the problem." Sherlock sighed. They were silent for a little while, all watching whatever sports game was on TV, and John was running his fingers almost unconsciously through Sherlock's curls. Not like he was complaining or anything. When six o'clock came around, Molly sighed, pushing Dudley off of her lap and getting to her feet.
"Well, I've got a date with my pajamas, fuzzy slippers, and a tub of ice cream." Molly decided.
"Should I tell Tom you're cheating on him?" John muttered.
"What?" Sherlock mumbled, opening his eyes and blinking around. He hadn't heard a thing of what they said, lying there half asleep.
"Nothing, you two have fun." Molly insisted. "Thanks for having me over."
"It was kind of by default." Sherlock muttered.
"Anytime Molly." John assured. Dudley followed Molly to the door, and she scratched his ears one more time before departing, leaving the dog to stare at the door in sadness, as if waiting for her return. "I hate to say this, but do you want anything to eat?" John asked.