the face I truly see (jongtae)

casual sarcasm

Jonghyun p.o.v

"You know what curiosity is?" Taemin said twiddling the knife in his hands. 
"What?" I asked.
"It's an adventure it's a roller coaster it's the thing that itches at you to discover it but you know you shouldn't as repercussions start to happen you find out something you shouldn't then you wham ! Your dead and you lying there was in a knife in your gut wondering if the curiosity was really worth it. Would you say it was worth it ?" Taemin asked.
"Well it all depends how curious the person really worse and how bad that itch really was" I said smirking.
"Well that's a fair reply but it isn't going to stop the bleeding will it though?" He said. 
"Yeah but at least the person would die without the curiosity still wondering in their last thoughts" I said.
"Very true but that mean the person didn't want to live?" Taemin said inspecting the knife.
"Of course why else would they seek the adventure" I said laughing lightly.
"But isn't it human nature to seek adventure?" He asked.
"Of course because we all want something that will give us the rush that only death can give us but we fear it" I said.

Taemin put the knife down on the steel table.
I pulled on my restraints but nothing. I laughed lightly " have I said something wrong".
"No actually something I find very valuable" he said and then looked at me. He walked up to me and then punched me the sound was more horrifying to me than the actual act until the pain caused my eyes to seal shut and for me to shout "fuck".

"No tell me this who is closer to feeling the rush of death you or I?" He asked.
I smiled "I would say you".
He laughed and rubbed his knuckle "why is that?".
"Because you could kill me right now which would make you death itself" I said spitting blood.
"Correct " he said and punched my once more.
I could feel my lip swelling and one eye permanently close and I still looked at him.
He reached towards me grabbing my chin and said " why is there so much fight in your eyes yet so much fear laced in there?"
"Because that's what fear does it causes the sudden sense to live" I said spitting blood again.

Taemin walked away and grabbed the knife again "so if I was to stab you now and let you bleed out would you still have the fight in your eyes?" He asked.
"Most likely" I said smiling lopsidedly.

"Curiouser and curiouser" he said examining the knife.
He put it down and he walked to a different table and grabbed a syringe.
"Not again" I thought.
"Yes again" Taemin laughed.
He could see in my eye the distaste I had towards his constant need to drug me.
He walked over to me and laughed "answer me this quickly".
I nodded.
"Loyalty or respect?" He asked plunging the syringe into my neck.
I gasped and whispered "loyalty" and then it was black again.

Taemin p.o.v

"Interesting" I said aloud. It was weird to think that this boy who could barely speak in front of others was now the cocky asshole sat in front of me. When had a I broken him this much. How had I brought him in this world.
I had to make him stronger. I had to show him how to survive. How to take a punch. I had to show him. That's what I told myself but it never was enough to hold back the guilt that seeped out of me.

Minho had said I should of just killed him. That he would of suffered less but I couldn't because there was something about him. I just had this connection to him like it was fate it was him and I felt stupid for thinking it but I did.
I ran my hand through my hair and walked upstairs into minhos home. Minho was sitting watching TV. Some TV show I had no interest in and he was out of it. i sat down beside him and i went to sleep. my sleep was as restless as my life i didn't dream anymore just flash backs of what i had to do. that's what i told myself when i would wake up sweating and guilt stricken that it was what i had to do.

when morning came i got up and walked down to the basement. he sat there tied up, gagged and blindfolded. i picked up the empty bucket and filled it up with the tap in the corner and then i strolled over and chucked the bucket over him. he began to struggle and then he stopped. he shivered and then his head sunk downwards. i walked over and took the gag off him and i spoke softly "morning".

"is it morning?" he said sarcastically.
"yes it is now" i said grabbing a chair from across the room. Chewing my lip and setting it infront of him. i slumped in the chair and we just sat there for a second.

"have i ever told you what your going to have to do in this world and what happens if you cant do it?" I said my eyes looking at him the water running down his face still.
"I know" he said almost though the very words were bitter to him.
"So what will you decide?" I said leaning forward.
"I don't think I really have choice" he said.
"You do " I said.
"Well I've made it this far I'm sure i can make it the rest" he said.
I got up and I started walking away "good luck kid" i said and left. 

no more words could be spoken. it was too late now to redeem him. he was to become the monster i was and he would change so drastically it terrified me. but it was too late.... he was no longer the person i had first met his eyes so conflicted with emotions now were empty and cold. i had made him exactly what this world needed but yet i felt this undeniable guilt itching at me. i had just destroyed a person. i had broken him down to the last point and now he was nothing. 

like me....