What If Mike Schmidct Was In Swampsim?

Shrek is love,Shrek is life.

Mike woke up near a stream near a bridge. An hour ago he was running from stray animatronics that managed to get out of the pizerria. The last thing he remembered was that he heard a roar and some ripping of metal,and then someone saying,"..get a rockstar."

When he stood up,he turned on his flashlight and stepped on an onion. "Ogres,are,like onions!"
(Sniffing)"They stink?" "Yes,no"
"Or they make you cry?" "No!"
"Or you leave them out in the sun and they sprout lil Brown hairs."
"NO! Onions have layers,ogres,have layers,onions have layers? You get it,we both have layers!"
Mike continued on until he saw a barrel. He heard a cat hiss from the barrel, then a tiny sword popped out. Then he saw an onion to his left. Mike picked it up. "NO,NO,NO!" "Oh,this is gonna be fun! We stay up late,swamp the manly stories in the morning,I'm making waffles!"(Growling)
"What weird onions." Mike said.
Mike then went to a house full of fire. Inside,he saw a donkey burned to the bone,and then stepped on another onion.
"I'm making waffles,waffles,wAfFlEs,waf,waf,waf,WAfffFLlleeeEssssS."
When Mike went out of the house,he was jumpscares by a cringing orge head. Then Mike picked up another onion close by.
"Hi everybody,and welcome to Shrek in the Swamp Kareokee Dance Party" "Whos Shrek?" Mike asked. "I am" replied a voice behind Mike. Mike looked behind him to see an ogre(You might already know who Shrek looks like.) Mike ran as fast as he could,while hearing some music behind him. He past an outpost with an onion in a toilet,then hearing some sighs. Then he stepped on another onion along the way,he heard a bong sound,then Mike went up a hill to hide, then fog enveloped around him. Mike hurried to get to the bridge. When he got there,there was an onion. Mike looked at his surroundings. Then prepared to run when suddenly,he was grabbed by the shirt and look up to see a smiling ogre. Shrek...

Ripped Mike's head off.
"Hey now,get a rockstar"
Shriek danced happily.