Letter to Tessa

**Note: This is supposed to be a letter that Will writes to Tessa an his way to save her from Mortmain, in case he died before he could tell her his true feelings. Enjoy!**

Tess,

    If you are reading this letter, then I am dead, for if I was still alive after I rescued you, I would be telling you all of this in person.

    I do not know what awaits me in the not so distant future, but it will always be my intention to save you. So, with my intentions declared, I pray that you will understand that I do not fear any fate that has become of me. In fact, I welcome it, as long as you are safe. And since I cease to exist in this life, this letter is simply so you may understand my final thoughts, although sometimes I feel as if you already do, and you may move on to greater things, with no more thought of me than a remembrance of what I wrote to you in this letter.

    With this in mind, remember how I always insist that I am like Sydney Carton, whom no one loved and who so pitifully died, and I am telling you that I understand him more now, as I am on my way to save you, than I ever thought I could. I understand his desires and I understand his pain. And now I envy him, Sydney, because he was able to prove his love for Lucie. He proved his love with sacrifice, which I would willingly do, if I could be sure that the sacrifice would be my own. If I died protecting you, if that is how it came to be that you are reading this letter, than I could not have asked for a better way to leave this life.

    There is a fine line between bravery and idiocy, and I fear that I have crossed it. But I do not care. Ever since I had learned that my curse did not actually exist, I have tried, more than you know, to mend what I have ruined, and to repair the relationships that have been tarnished by my touch. I cannot bear the thought of the suffering that was created by me. The pain that I have caused my parents by leaving them. The dishonor that I have done to Jem in having affectionate eyes towards his fiancé and one true love. The heartbreak that I have caused you, because I cannot imagine the torture of having one's heart split into two.

    I have no right to anyone's forgiveness, and I have no right to ask for it, yet I must be selfish in this one last act, when I ask of you to forgive me.

Forgive me, Tessa, for being so selfish of my own desires that I could not see my parabatai's needs. For hurting everyone I love when all they do is care for me in ways I do not deserve.

Of everything though, you are what I regret the most. Not a mistake, but a regret. I regret loving you when I had no right to. You were not mine to love, and yet I was selfish enough to love you still. You are my biggest regret Tessa Grey.

                      Forgive me and move on,

                               Will Herondale