As the final bell rings to release us from school, I feel a sense of dread. As soon as I get home I will begin working around the house on chores. I walk from advanced band class where I play flute to my locker.
"Hey Katie!" about 3 people say at the same time. Michelle, Zaya, and Joanna all gathered around my locker.
They were friends but not that close.
"Hey guys!" I exclaim laughing, pretending.
.
I grab my bag and walk home.
As I walk in the door, my mom yells from the laundry room for me to hurry my fat ass up and get back there to help.
It's gonna be a long night.
* 9 pm *
After I'm done with all my chores and making dinner and helping with the lil bros, I go to text my friends and get on Instagram. I text me boyfriend "hey". He answers about 5 minutes later saying sorry he was hanging with his friends.
"How was your day?" he asks.
"Great" I answer because I don't want him to know.
As I talk with him about unimportant things I start to feel lonely.
I text my friend Brooke.
"Hey!" I text
"Hey!!" her almost instant reply
"How was ur day?"
"Good I guess. Just got home from bowling. Hbu?" She asks
I didn't answer bc I had to do homework and forgot
Later I sent goodnight texts and went turned out the light.
I went and got my exacto blades and raised my scarred wrist up. I made 15 short deep cuts that spilled red. One for every bite I took at lunch. I raised up my pajama pants and make 10
Slashes there for what I ate at dinner.
They well up and bleed a lot. My wrist bleeds so much it kinda scares me.
I wipe it roughly off with a towel and it breaks the scabs forming and they bleed more.
I lay down in bed and fall soundly asleep.
The next morning I get up at 6:30 and get in the shower.
I get out and dry down my far too fat body and throw on my jeans and an old sweatshirt to hide the cuts.
During 3rd period I borrow a pen from Kayla and draw on my hands and arms.
"Can I see?" she asks
"Um sure"
I am careful about where I show her so she won't see.
"Wow I bet your gonna be a tattoo artist!" Kayla says
"Maybe" I reply
During 7th period band I sit in the back with Kayla and my ex Spencer.
We are doing presentations. In between we talk and Kayla mentions my drawing on my arms.
"Can I see please?" He asks
"Sure" I reply.
I push up my sleeves without thinking and flash them at him. He turns pale and looks away. Oh shit I think to myself what did I do. Then I remember last night.
I turn away and snap the rubber band around my wrist 4 times hard. My wrist starts bleeding again and i make a startled yelp. Kayla looks back at me missing the whole exchange.
"You ok?" she asks not looking concerned
"I'm fine" I say because that's what she expects and wants me to say.
Spencer glances at me again and looks at me funny. Like he expects me to start screaming. Like I'm a lit bomb. Unknown time and he wants to get out before it explodes.
Can't say I blame him.
