I'll See You When It's Over

Three Years Later...

I'm sitting in the room I'm staying in and just think. I realized last year how unwanted I am and how my mother is never coming back. Now I just feel pure hatred and hurt when I think about her. Gone is the girl who used to believe everything she said without a doubt that it was true. Gone is the girl who used to come home crying and then cheer up when "Momma" would hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay.

I'm a new person and I just feel pure hatred towards her. Instead of the long blonde curls I used to have I have long straight black hair with side bangs in the front. I decided to change my entire lifestyle as soon as I realized she's never coming back.

I'm in deep thought when I'm pulled out of it by a knock on my door.

"Emily its time to eat" Kaitlyn says. Kaitlyn is the daughter of the people I'm staying with now.

"Tell them they can shove it up their a-" I'm cut off by Kaitlyn's mom Amy.

"Watch your mouth while you are in this house young lady."

"Why should I? Its not like I'm staying here for much longer. I heard you on the phone. I never stay in places very long. Especially not my used to be real home." I say with so much hatred.

"Your right. Your leaving in a week because nobody wants you here. I only agreed to take you in because I thought I could change you." Amy says in a cold tone I'm all too familiar with.

I didn't expect it to hurt as much as it did. I open the door and nobody is there. I make my way to the bathroom, blade in hand. When I get there I pull my sleeve up and see the war zone on my arm. I add a whole lot more and just watch as the blood flows down my arm and into the sink.

Nobody knows I do this and I'd like to keep it that way. I don't trust anyone enough to tell them. I don't have any friends at school and I get picked on a lot but all I hear from them are the comments that hurt the most. Like when they tell me my mother never loved me and I was just a pain so she left.

I hear a knocking on the bathroom door and quickly clean up my arm and leave no evidence of blood in the sink. I walk out of the bathroom with the knife in my pocket and come face to face with Jeffrey.

"Hello Jeffrey. Nice of you to rush me like that." I say coldly. That's all I ever sound like anymore. Just a cold, hatred filled toned girl.

"Nice to see you did it again." He says and smirks. I start to panic mentally. He couldn't possibly know could he?

"Did what?" I ask in fake confusion.

"You know what I mean" he says, his eyes flickering to my wrist.

"H-how did you find out?" I ask in panic.

"I saw one of the scars. I put two and two together and figured it out" he smirks again.

"Please don't tell anyone. What little bit of a life I have left will be over. I can never show my face again at school if everybody knows. Please" I beg him uncontrollably.

"Hmmm you need to do one thing for me if you don't want anyone to know"

"And what's that Jeffrey?"

"Call me Jeff instead of Jeffrey. I hate my real name."

"Thank you so much. This means the world to me." I sigh in relief. I start walking back toward the room and bump into Kaitlyn.

"Watch where your going." She sneers at me. I can't wait till I leave this place.

"Shut the hell up" I sneer back.

I walk and finally get to my room. I lay in the bed thinking. I try not to but end up thinking about Jeffrey.

Jeffrey is a foster kid like me. He's been in this house longer than I have and everybody loves him. While I'm just the outcast nobody likes. Jeffrey is 15 and has been in foster care since he was 3. At least he was too young to remember much of why he's here. I was 10 when I was put into foster care and I remember every detail of as to why I'm here right now.

The thought that keeps reoccurring in my head is why? Why is Jeffrey keeping my secret? He could easily make me crash and burn but he's not. Anyone else would. But why not him? This thought confuses me. At least I'll be leaving soon and won't have to worry about it.

I need to distract myself. I pull my phone out and start surfing Facebook. I see that Jeffrey just posted something about a girl he deeply cares for. Watch, next week he's gonna be talking about how he thought it was true love until he found someone else.

I go to the app store and download follow the line 2. I start playing it and say profanities when I mess up. I get on Kik and start pranking people. Its funny to see how they react.

After a while I fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up in the morning around 10:23 and go to the bathroom. I take a shower and go to the kitchen.

I'm not really in the mood to deal with people so thankfully the Halls' are late risers. They usually don't get up until after noon.

I'm surprised when I see someone in the kitchen. Its Jeffrey.

"Mornin' sunshine" he says sarcastically.

"Hey" I say cassually. I grab a granola bar from the cabinet and try to go back to my room. I'm stopped when I feel a hand stop me in place by my wrist. It still hurts from yesterday and I wince at the pain.

"Sorry" Jeffrey mutters after quickly letting go of my wrist.

"Can I leave now?" I ask.

"After we talk." He says but then just stares at something behind me. I turn to look and see Kaitlyn sneering at us.

"My room?" I whisper and he nods. We make our way out of the kitchen and into my room.

"What do you want?" I ask wanting to get to the point.

"Well I was wondering if maybe you could try to be a little nicer to everyone?" He asks and I snort.

"Yeah right. There's a higher chance of my mother coming back than that." I force myself to keep a blank face even though I'm trying not to lose it.

"What makes you say that?" He asks.

"Because its true."

"Your mother is never coming back. Just get used to the fact and let it go."

"You really think I don't know that?" My voice turns cold and my body numb. "I figured that out by now. Who could want me? I'm just a depressed little girl who knows nothing of the real world."

"I didn't mea-" I cut him off.

"Just get out of my room Jeff." I say his name with so much hatred its a wonder why he doesn't flinch.

He leaves the room and I'm suddenly exhausted. I fall asleep for who knows how long.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××

Hey I know this isn't the best chapter but hang with me I'm trying. This is only my second book and I suck at writing but hopefully it gets better.

Bye peeps

SOTC: If You Can't Hang by Sleeping With Sirens