Cut After Cut 2

Self Harming

I slowly look over to the other side of my bathroom dropping the razor blade on the white tile flooring. I slowly sink my arm down into the water of the bath feeling a little sting with the blood surrounding me. why do I do this to myself its not worth it, not worth anything I slowly grab the edges of the bath. I weakly pull myself up feeling the coldness on my wet skin. *knock Knock* are you alright in there my lovely sister Brianna asks about to open the door. yeah I'm fine please don't open the door I answer back. I walk out onto the bath mat leaving two wet feet patches. I grab my towel wrapping it under my arms. I look down to my freshly open cuts on my wrist as little droplets are running down. I turn the tap on as I'm rinsing the blood off feeling a little sting. I look down to the razor blade. I pick it up and put it under the sink in my cubby. I grab some toilet paper to clean up the blood that is on the floor. crap I cant get it off I say to myself scrubbing the stain. I get up heading into my bedroom to get dressed. I grab my pyjamas and quickly get into those. I walk down stairs to get some cleaning supplies to clean up the mess. what are you doing with those My step dad Andrew asks. uh-just doing a little cleaning I walk into my bedroom and back into my bathroom. I lock the bathroom door behind me. I grab the cleaning spray and start scrubbing. The blood stain starts to wear away. uh I thought I was going to die I say to myself. If my parents saw that they would've killed me. I put the cleaning supplies away and run back into my room. I grab a jumper just to put on to cover the cuts.

dinners ready my beautiful mother Cindy says. Everyone starts racing to the kitchen table to grab their dinner. your favourite Mom winks at me. Thanks mom I grab the plate full of food and walk up into my room. Before I made it to my bedroom someone stopped me. what are you doing, go eat at the table Andrew points at my face I quickly go to the table where everyone else was. I sit down awkwardly with everyone staring at me. so I was thinking you and I could go shopping tomorrow Maddy my step sister asks cutting the awkward silence. yeah that would be a great idea I get up and wash my plate. I walk up to my bedroom to go to bed. night mom, love you I yell from my bedroom door. I turn my light off and jump into my cold bed. I slowly close my eyes drifting off to sleep.

I'm Sorry I didn't introduce myself. My name is Amber. I've lived in New Jersey my whole life. I live with my mom, Cindy and my step dad, Andrew as well as my three real siblings and my four step siblings. Oh and plus I have a dad, Terry he lives up in LA, Hollywood with my step mom and my step brother. I was born on the 18th June 2000. I am aged fifteen turning sixteen next year. I go to a public school with all my other siblings. When I'm older I hope I get to go to LA that's just been my dream since I was little.

I wake up with the sun beaming in my eyes. I get up as I let out a yawn while rubbing my eyes. I go to my bathroom closing the door behind me I quickly go for a shower just to freshen up a little. I jump out of the shower dry my hair and then straighten my hair. I quickly do a smoky look for my makeup. I go to my drawers and pick out something to wear for today. *knock Knock* come in I see Maddy standing there at the door. are you dressed, you slept in she asks covering her eyes. I have a towel around me I reply she looks at me. you nearly ready I suddenly remember that we are going shopping today. yeah can I get dressed first I ask as she shuts the door. What was I doing? oh that's right. I pick out a white tank top and my leather high pants also my vans. Before I go I quickly look in the mirror to see my appearance. wow I actually look good for once I say to myself I never thought that Id look good in anything I always think that I'm gross and fat.

I walk out of my room into the hallway and hear someone so familiar. I walk into the kitchen and see maddy in a really short black dress with high heels on Yeah she's just up in her room maddy points at me. E-Ethan what are you doing here, I thought it was just going to be me and you Maddy I run into my bedroom crying. She's done this on purpose. I jump onto my bed stuffing my head into the soft comfortable pillow leaving my pillow soaked. *Knock Knock* I get up and quickly fix myself up. come in I say quietly. I see Ethan walk in. I thought that you were going on a date with maddy I ask wiping the tears away sniffling. no of cause not, I-I'm here for you I pat a spot on my bed for him to sit down. I know its been so long but I've been thinking about you a lot lately so I decided to come here to New Jersey to see you he says making my heart drop. that's so sweet but I'm going shopping with mad- he cuts me off by smashing his lips onto mine. I immediately push him off. what are you doing Ethan I say discussed. I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that I play with a ring that was on my finger that Cameron my boyfriend gave me. I look back up to Ethan as he was staring at my fingers aka the ring. A lot has happened I hear a buzz from my phone. I lift my phone up as I see a text from Cameron Dallas.

Cameron Dallas: Hey baby I was wondering if I could come pick you up?

Me: Hey, I'm quite busy right now but I guess you could swing by.

Cameron Dallas: Okay Ill see you soon. xx.

Me: xx.

I throw my phone onto my bed. who was that not to be nosey he asks cracking his fingers. oh-uhh just a friend I swallow down my saliva. I hear someone knock on the door. Ill be back I get up as I race to the door. I open the door and see Cameron. I pull him in for a kiss. I turn around and see Ethan standing there upset. uh this is Cameron my boyfriend, you know him don't you Ethan shakes his head in disgust. yes I know exactly who he is Ethan weakly smiles at Cameron and I. Ethan walks out as I follow him. I'm really confused, wait Ethan I walk out the door. But Cameron stops me. don't worry about him Cameron takes my hand as he pulls me up to my room. Wait Cameron stop I pull away from him and rush out. Ethan wait up I chase after him. what are you doing I ask confused. I grab his hand and stop him from walking. Ethan stop he looks into my eyes as I do the same. so that's your boyfriend, my friend wow I never thought that he lived in New Jersey he goes on. He doesn't live in New Jersey he lives in LA I met him when I was with my dad he just came to see me as I said a lot has happened and when I say that I mean I have a boyfriend I explain. He rolls his eyes. I look behind and see Cameron waiting at the front door. oh right, that's exactly right timing when I come to see you of cause he does Ethan speed walks away to his house. I wait there till I cant see him. I start to walk back slowly. so apparently you know him I ask walking past Cameron into the house. yes I know him and his brother I run up to my bedroom. I think I just lost someone really important to me. I jump onto my bed.

*Ethan's pov*

I walk into my house as I look behind me seeing Amber still standing there. A couple of seconds later she walks back to her house. What have I done why did I yell at her like that. This isn't me at all. I walk into my room. I lay on my bed and hear my phone go off. I look onto my phone and see a text from Amber.

Amber: Hey I don't know what to say?

Me: Hey, uh same I am so sorry that's not me to yell at you or anyone I'm such an idiot.

Amber: I'm used to it I guess with people yelling at me. You're not an idiot you just made a mistake I'm probably half the problem in peoples lives.

Me: are you kidding me you are amazing you're not half the problem in my life or probably anyone's. oh and a horrible mistake.

*Ambers pov*

I get up and throw my phone on the bed. what are you doing Cameron asks. going for a shower I go into my bathroom and strip down my clothes. can have one with you I pause. Cameron, really I say changing the water temperature. what's wrong with that he asks walking into the bathroom. nah I'm good I laugh but as I knew it he was undressed and he is already in the shower with me. Cameron I look at him smirking. I bend down and grab the shampoo. we aren't doing anything I say giggling. I know he grabs the shower gel.

I step out of the shower and dry myself after that I get dressed into my pyjamas. I get into my cold bed waiting for Cameron. "hey baby" He walks over in his grey sweet pants with no t-shirt on. He slips in beside hugging me closely. I feel his hot breath on my neck. I turn around smirking. "I love you" I say playing with his hair that was all messed up. "I love you too" He kisses me gently on my forehead. I suddenly remember Ethan. I slowly turn around to go to sleep. I slowly drift off to sleep.

To be continued...