Atelophobia | Denis Stoff

15

I've become closer to the guys in the short amount of time and I switch tomorrow to start the rescheduled shows, due to Corey's surgery before tour. "DECEMBER!" I heard yelling from the front of the bus as I was trying to pack up the stuff I wouldn't need today. "What?" I asked, walking towards the front. "We have breakfast. Also what time is sound check?" Corey asked. "1:30 is sound check. Meet and greet is at 3:30. Doors open at 5:30. You go on last at 7:30," I told him. "What will we do when you're not on our bus? We'll probably forget everything," Corey sighed. I laughed, shaking my head, "You'll live." I sat down with him and the guys, starting to eat my breakfast, which was really just fast food I'm sure they found around the corner.

I was thinking a lot. By the end of this tour all of the, I hope I could stay friends with all of the bands. I've become really close to all of them. What if something happens and for some reason they all hate me? "Dec... (A/N : pronounced Des) Are you okay?" Jay asked quietly. I nodded, realizing I spaced out. I finished my breakfast before sitting down on the couch and watching whatever was on.

However, once again I started thinking more and Jay asked if I wanted to go out for a bit. I nodded and soon we got away from the bus and away from people. "So what's bugging you?" Jay asked. "Well... I don't know. Before Denis, I kind of always was worried after being enough for everyone. And now after it all happened, I can't help but feel like I'm not enough... Like I'll never be enough. I don't even feel like I deserved to meet asking, let alone bands like Slipknot and Marilyn Manson. I feel like I deserve having to be someone I'm not because that's good enough for everyone I knew then," I rambled.

He pulled me closer to his side, "I understand the whole thing with Slipknot and Marilyn Manson in a way. I look up to Slipknot and sometimes I think that maybe I'm not worth even playing with the band. I've known them for a while but I still feel that way. But Denis? Come on, he never deserved you anyways if he did that. You deserve better than that." "Thanks, Jay. Promise we'll keep in touch after tour?" I asked. He nodded, "Of course, you're one of my best friends." After that we walked back to the bus, getting ready for the day.

We all went to lunch before going to sound check. After that we went to the meet and greet, soon following we went to the green room for the guys. We hung out before getting ready for the show. The guys all changed into their stage clothes and out on their masks. I started getting my gear all set up. I stood side stage for Of Mice & Men and Marilyn Manson before starting to move around for Slipknot, taking pictures along the way. After the show, I sat in the front lounge to write my last Slipknot based post of the tour.

"Hello everyone.

Today is my last day with slipknot. Trust me these guys are insane and sometime living on a bus with them can be quite difficult but they're still great. They're all like older brothers now, they're extremely protective of me and they all like messing with me. I suggest seeing them live whenever you can, they're still amazing at it.

*Insert live photos of the band*

Tonight was a blast. Have fun with the next shows guys!

December x"

Hey guys. It's June 11, 2016 when I'm posting this and I'm incredibly sad because Christina Grimmie died today. It's awful that she died like this it shouldn't have happened. She deserved better. However the song Doubt by Twenty One Pilots will forever make me think of her. Keep her in your minds and in your hearts. Keep dreaming wherever you are, Christina ♡.