Fuck That Thing Called Love

Narrative Form

I am Shina,16 years old.I was just bored that night when someone suddenly send me a message on my facebook account."He" said he wanted someone to talk to,"He" said he wanted someone to listen and to give him an advice.Since I was bored I entertained him.Sinabi niya sa akin na nasasaktan siya dahil sa problema ng family niya,sabi niya maghihiwalay na daw parents niya at hindi niya daw alam kung anong dapat gawin at sinabihan ko lang siya na magpray kasi nandiyan lagi si God hinding-hindi siya papabayaan.Days,Months,years had passed we become best of friends,nagkikita pa nga kami in person at sa tuwing may problema siya nandiyan ako palagi para karamay niya and vice versa but to him hanggang bestfriends lang kami but to me it was more than that.I love him,yes I love him but I kept it to myself.Ang mas masakit pa ay yung tuwing nanliligaw siya sa ibang babae nandiyan ka para tulungan siya but in the back of your mind hinihiling mong sana ikaw nalang yung babaeng yun,sana ikaw nalang yung nililigawan at mahal niya.Ilang buwan ang lumipas at sinagot siya nung babaeng nililigawan niya.Oo masaya ka para sa bestfriend mo pero nalulungkot ka para sa sarili mo dahil alam mong kahit anong gawin mo hindi ka niya kayang mahalin.There's this one time na nagaaway sila ng syota niya and as his bestfriend kinomfort mo siya,sinabihang kumapit lang siya dahil alam mong mahal na mahal nila ang isa't isa.Ngumiti siya at niyakap ka siya sabay sabing "Thank You" but you wished na sana ikaw nalang yung girlfriend niya para hindi na siya umiyak.Finally,nagkaruon ka ng courage na magtapat sa kanya,kabadong kabado ka pero sinugal mo yung pagkakaibigan ninyong dalawa para sa katiting na pag-asa na baka magkaroon ng "kayo" but He just said "thank you for the love but I would be happy if you take it back.I don't deserve that love there's someone out there na para lang sayo and I don't think na ako yun.I'm sorry but I only see you as my little sister and my cool bestfriend".Umiyak ako sa harapan niya.Gusto kong magmura ng mga panahong yun,sa kabila ng lahat hanggang kaibigan lang pala talaga.Ilang beses kong sinubukang landiin siya pero hanggang kaibigan lang talaga.Umasa ako,pinanghawakan ko yung sinabi niyang "Bahala nang walang girlfriend basta nandito ka lang lagi sa tabi ko" akala ko mahal niya ako dahilan para masabi niya yun but I was wrong.Oo mahal niya naman talaga ako but only as a friend.Ano pa bang kulang sa akin para hindi niya mahalin?They say baliw na daw ako but I don't care paki ba nila sa buhay ko.Sa kabila ng sakit nandiyan parin ako para supurtahan ang bestfriend ko,the only reason that I can't let him go even though he cause me so much pain is that he is the only reason that keeps me happy.I only find happiness in his company because I am from a broken family and I am living on my own.I am an only child and both of my parents are working abroad and both of them have their new family,mga katulong lang ang kasama ko sa bahay at ni isa man sa kanila walang alam sa nararamdaman ko,no one ever care,kaya din siguro minahal ko yung bestfriend ko kasi sa kanya ko lang nakita kung anong hinahanap ko,sa kanya ko lang naramdaman ang pagmamahal na ipinagkait sa akin ng aking mga magulang.Maraming nanliligaw sa akin pero binusted ko lahat dahil walang makakapantay sa kanya.Walang makakapantay sa bestfriend ko.Hahahaha fuck that thing called love kinuha niya yung puso ko without him even knowing it.He said he's always there for me but I doubt it because he's now getting married.At iiwan na ako ng bestfriend ko.

2 years ago I thought he felt the same way.2 years ago I thought our feelings was mutual.I'm sorry that still I can't be happy for my bestfriend kasi kahit 2 years na ang lumipas I'm still in the process of moving on.I maybe forget the feelings I had for him but I am still thankful that he had a chapter in my life.I know na hindi niya sinasadya na masaktan ako but I don't regret it kasi madami akong natutunan sa kanya,sa experience kong ito.Time will come that heartily I will be happy for him.Time will come that I will 100% get over him.Just wait bestfriend,just wait :)