Prologue
Steve Bent looked around the room at the members of the focus group and sighed. He should have been used to it by now, but a bunch of adults arguing over things unrelated to the purpose of the group always irritated him. Sadly it seemed to happen every time.
Although to be fair this argument was relevant to the overall subject, just not what they were trying to achieve.
“OK guys, can I get up back on track,” he called out, clapping his hands to get their attention. “Let me remind you of why we are here. We need to find a new name for our great nation, one that defines what we are trying to achieve, but which will take away the taint that our current name has. What we are not trying to do is introduce Socialism, re-define democracy, bring back the draft, replace baseball with soccer as our national sport, increase anyone’s taxes, reduce the taxes for the rich or the poor, expose the New World Order or contact aliens. Do we all understand? We are just trying to find a new name.”
“I still don’t see why,” said a white-haired Southern gentleman in his mid-seventies. “Our name is what sets us apart from the rest of the world. It defines us and what we stand for.”
Steve tried not to sigh again. “Yes Bob, we’ve had this conversation a few times in the last three hours. It’s our name that causes so much anger around the world, and why so many nations are at war with us. We need a new image, and one way is a new name.”
He stood up and went over to the flipchart in the corner of the room. Picking up a marker pen, he looked at the group, a hand-picked selection of eleven members of the public from different socio-economic groups, age groups and races, and said, “Now, we have got down to these five names. I’m going to read out each one, and you will vote for it by raising your hand. You will not start arguing with anyone who votes for one you don’t agree with, nor will you applaud, high-five or cheer anyone who agrees with you. If you can’t behave in that way, then we’ll have to have a secret vote, but to be honest I’m sure you all want to get home. I know I do,” he added wearily.
No one said a word; they just sat and listened.
“OK then, let’s get this over with. First name is ‘Circumvenio.’ Any votes?”
No one raised their hand.
“Right then, how about ‘Freedocria’? He knew this was a little too close the Freedonia and unlikely to be popular, but it was one that had been suggested at the start of the meeting, and a few of the members seemed to like it then. Not now though.
“OK, no votes for that one. Next is ‘Democria.’” All eleven hands were raised. “Interesting. Kathy, why do you prefer ‘Democria’ over ‘Freedocria’? Isn’t our country based on freedom? Isn’t that the most important thing?”
“Yes it is, ‘Freedocria’ sounds bad. It’s just not a good name. ‘Freedonia’ would be better, but I guess that’s been used before.”
“Indeed. We don’t want the world comparing us to a Marx Brothers film. So are we all agreed then?” he said, looking around the room. Their reply came back in the form of nodding heads and a couple of grunted affirmations. “And I can report back that we feel this gives the impression that we are a country that embraces democracy and all it stands for, and not that we were all bored and keen to get this thing finished?” This time nods with a few sheepish grins.
“Well thank you everyone. You have all been great, and have contributed well. You can be proud to have been part of history. The greatest country in the world is about to be reborn. God Bless Democria.”
“Is that it? We’ve just changed our name, just like that?” asked Bob, sounding a little confused.
“No Bob, it’s not that simple. The results of this focus group will be put together with all the others we are having around the country, and indeed around the world.”
“Then why the Hell did you say God Bless Democria?”
“I was just trying it out for size, Bob, just to see how it sounded. It will be a long time before we have to reword the Pledge. And who knows, it may never happen.”
