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"What are you doing?" Rudy panted. Hans ignored him, sizing up the situation while nibbling his bleeding lip raw.

"Hans, help me!" The older boy pleaded, the pressure on his back deepening. "Please!" He clawed at the ground, shredding his nails, sobs painful to breathe. He felt his breaths shortening, the air not quite reaching his lungs, but not quite exiting either.

"I should let you suffer," the small youth gulped, his calm exterior cracking, his true colors bleeding through. "Let you suffer the way you let me!" His blue eyes were clouding over with insanity, his fists trembling with panic.

"I'm...so...sorry!" Rudy cried out, thrashing with the effort to think clearly.

"Why should I let you live?"  Hans screamed. Though he did not want to watch his only friend hurt, he was loving the terror in Rudy's eyes, the way he fought for control, the way he couldn't help but accept the pain and know it wouldn't end by his own hand. But deep down, he was counting the seconds until he would rescue his friend, cradle him and accept him as his own once more.

"You shouldn't!" Rudy gasped. "But I'm praying to God you will."

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