In the Eyes of a Lost Soldier

In the beginning I hadn't realized what had happened. I woke up in an empty hospital room where hospital beds lined the walls. They were everywhere, there had to be at least fifty in just this room. I looked around me, everything was so white and quiet. I tried to remember what happened but I couldn't. I got out of bed and stepped onto the cold white floor. I looked down at my bare feet. Then in an instant I had a hallucination of army boots on my feet. They kept blurring in and out. They were covered in mud and worn. I blinked really fast to try to focus on them, but then they vanished and I was just staring at my bare feet again. I looked up at the empty room once more and in a flash I could see army men and women running all around me. It was pouring down rain and out of instinct I put my hand over my head like I was holding something over myself to protect from the rain. Only, it wasn't raining on me, just on everyone else. I shook my head to gain control and the scene became more clear. Someone was yelling at me but I couldn't hear them. Everything was moving in such a fast pace. A man with his leg missing was hopping passed me, two people were holding him up and then out of nowhere they passed right through me like I wasn't even there. I turned around quickly to see them vanish and the room became empty white again. I didn't know what was going on and I didn't want to stand around any longer to find out. I walked into the hallway and yet again it was nothing but white walls and bright lights. At the end of the hallway I could see a red light very faintly. I began walking towards it and as I grew closer I could see that it was an exit sign. I picked up my pace and began running. I was going full force when I shoved the door open and began falling out of the sky it seemed. I began to scream, but nothing came out. I saw the ground getting closer and I quickly covered my arms over my face to protect from the hit of the ground. But I didn't. I opened my eyes to see myself hovering only inches  above the ground. Then everything went back.

When I opened my eyes I was standing in a cemetary. I was dressed in a nice black suit with a teal blue tie. There were people gathered all around a grave off in the distance and I began making my way towards them. I kept stroking my tie and trying to remember what it was about this tie that I remembered. Then it hit me. Teal blue was my favorite color. But why was I wearing a suit and tie? When I got closer to the people I began to see familiar faces. I didn't know who any of them were but I knew I recognized them from somewhere. Then I saw her. Her dark hair waving in the wind, the tears pouring down her face. I knew her somehow. And my heart knew her too. I walked up to her and just stared, not able to take my eyes off this beautiful human weeping in front of me. Then I began seeing an image. An image of her, her smiling and laughing and as these images popped in my head my heart started to hurt more and more. I began to tear up. I looked away quickly and when I looked down I saw a casket, in that casket lay a man in his military uniform. That man was me. I was attending my own funeral. All at once the flashbacks took over my body.

From life till death, memories flooded my head. The first was me as a baby. My mother holding me amd my father making baby noises to make me laugh. It was working, I was laughing hysterically. I began to smike at this memory just as another one flashed in my head. I was ten now and it was my birthday and my parents had gotten me a remote control car like I had wanted. I was begging my father to come outside and play with me and after a few minutes of begging he finally agreed to come out. I was so happy I began jumping and screaming "I love you dad!" Then the memory faded as another one approached. I was in class in Mr. Toblez's 11th grade history class. I knew what would happen in this memory before it actually happened. It was September 11th. The day the twin towers fell. We watched the whole event go down on the television. Some people cried. I sat there in awe and disbelief as this happened. I realized then that I would join the army and fight in Iraq and Afghanistan. I put my head in my hands and decided at that moment that I would fight for my country. Then I looked over and saw her. The girl standing right in front of me at my own funeral. The girl that held my heart. She sat next to me in my history class and after we shared that split second glance, we were hooked. Another memory flashed over the previous one. I was in my military uniform I had my backpack settled on my back and I was giving goodbye hugs and kisses to my family and friends. The last person I said goodbye to was this woman who was now sobbing in front of me. I wrapped her tight in my arms and kissed her like I never would again. This memory faded slowly and I now realized that I never would kiss her again.

I turned away from my lifeless body to see the final memory before my death. I was with my rank sitting eating food in Iraq. I was laughing at something that one of my army brothers had said. I heard it, my laugh and I began to smile staring at this memory as if it was happening right in front of me. Then I saw an explosion off in the near distance. My memory me quickly grabbed my gun and crouched on the dirt covered ground. Another explosion closer this time. I watched my memory self closely waiting for me to run, but I didn't. Instanlty I remembered this was the memory I had in the hospital, yet it wasn't rain this time,its was dirt and ash from the explosion. The person yelling at me was the comrad that was joking with me. I tried to intercept this memory but I couldn't. I couldn't help I could only sit there and watch myself. Then the third explosion and then the memory went black.

I flinched away from the memory remembering the pain that I suffered before everything went away. So that's it. That's how I died. And I stood here now watching all my friends and family cry over my body. The military men that were present began folding up the american flag that lay over my casket. I stood and watched in awe as they handed the flag wrapped perfectly to the love of my life. Suddenly, I could hear everything. The tears of my family and friends. Their hearts breaking yet still beating. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. There was so much I wanted to say to everyone. I looked away for just moment to see the same bright white light that I had seen inthe empty hospital. I knew what it was but I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. I walked over to my parents. I had so much to say to them but the only thing I could manage to squeeze out was "Thank you." I watched them carefully before I turned away to see the light getting closer. I then turned to the military men who had folded the flags and did a salute to these men. Three of the men had been my best friends since grade school. I memorized their facial features. The expressions almost broken. I was grateful to have called them my best friends and comrads. Lastly, I turned to the woman that held my heart. I gently touched her cheeks with my hands and for a second it seemed as though she could see me. For a split second our eyes met one last time and I felt every feeling I had ever felt with her. The world slipped away for a moment and I wiped her tears. "Do not be sad my love," I said. "I will always be with you. You have my heart forever and always." I gently kissed her forehead and felt the tears pour down my face onto hers landing just perfectly that our tears blended together to make one tear.

I stepped back into the world and took one last look at my friends and family. These people that I had given so much to in my life and had given so much of their life to me. I turned and began walking toward the light. Just before I entered the after world, I turned to the people that meant so much to me and said to all of them "Forever in my heart are all of you." I entered the white light and my casket was lowered into the ground.