Poems and other stuff

Diplomas and Dreams

Cap, gown, tassel, and if you work hard enough an honors cord.

underneath; Underneath a pretty dress for the girls and for the boys a dress shirt and pants. Caps, gowns, diplomias, and expectations.

Do you know what I expected?

Graduating; I expected more from this moment. Walking across a stage marking the end of a thirteen year journey. I expected more for this memory. For it to change these feelings of longing into accomplishment and for this to finally stop my anxiety. Diplomas were supposed to be the magic wands, that at the end of all this hard work, end the suffering. I'm kidding. Well only particially. I expected for graduating, having a slide show with pictures of me as a baby, entering a more me dictated journey, to make me feel free. Instead I feel like a miner that wasn't paying attention to the coniary when it started flailing. Warning me.

Arming me with the knowledge that there is a 32% chance that I may not end up working in the field I decide to study in. That one day I could be faced with having hot water and electricity or eating. It's quite disquieting.

But wait! Hold on. Bare with me...I'm not done speaking.

I have this picture in my mind, this oasis, full of elegance. These pictures that paint deliverance. where peace and happiness isnt in question, it's effortless and nevertheless, I bask in it! Soaking up all its promises promising Providence. Perfect places painted in a picturesque purple, causing me to experience pounding heart palpitations. Putting my brain in a perfectly pacified state of mind.

Now I apologize if it seems like all I'm doing is stuttering. I'm trying to paint a picture, provide you with a visual. Are you with me? let me go a little slower.

Graduating is overwhelming. For some of us it's scary. At least for a 4foot eleven girl like me, but amongst this negitivity I find solace in day dreaming. Part of the time I'm practically sleepwalking. I get lost in the endless possibilities and just like my mouth my brain starts rambling. Thinkinng at hyper spead, blindly trying to navigate the diffrence between dreaming and reality. Rambling.

My point.

There is power in placing your dreams as your standered. Negitivity will always be present in our lives, but just like evil sea witches, like Ursala and wicked step mothers, like in Cinderella, it doesn't stop our stories.

Caps, gowns, deplomas, and dreams.