Never Let Me Go (Deidara Story)

Chapter 6.

"What!?"

The Akatsuki stared at Deidara in surprise and slight disbelief at his words, but as they considered it, it didn't seem too much of a stretch to think it might be true. It would certainly explain the few things that nobody had been able to answer. Although Deidara had seemed pleasantly surprised at hearing Akemi's name and that she would be helping the Akatsuki out for the foreseeable future, and appeared to be looking forward to meeting her again after not having seen her in such a long time, there had still been a slight bit of uncertainty evident. The rest of the Akatsuki had merely assumed it was because of the time lapse—that he wasn't sure how things would be—but clearly it had been because he had remembered how had acted towards Akemi in Iwagakure. He knew what he had done back then, and he couldn't be sure what she would think of him once she saw him again. Whether she would merely let it be as something in the past, or hold a grudge against him for everything he'd done.

It was what had held him back from calling out and being the first to greet her. If Deidara hadn't been uncertain, or hadn't kept recalling memories of Iwagakure, then there wouldn't have been any hesitation. They were friends, so why would he want to wait for everyone else to talk to her before he did? Of course, that would have been the case if it wasn't for what he had known. So he had held back. He had stood there and watched as Akemi went around the room, introducing herself to all the Akatsuki and talking a little, trying to predict what would happen and wondering just what her reaction would be when she finally approached him and they had to talk. Everyone had wondered why he had appeared so hesitant, but put it down to the surprise of seeing Akemi again. After all, even if they hadn't known it, Deidara had been shocked by the change in her appearance.

But then there was Akemi's reaction as well. When talking to them all she had been fine; easy-going and making the usual small talk, her confidence showing through all the while. None of them, once meeting her, had any doubt that she wouldn't be able to handle what was going on around her. Only then she had gone up to Deidara, and that attitude had faltered slightly. Suddenly she hadn't been quite as confident, becoming quieter and more tentative than before. None of the Akatsuki had been able to understand why they had both just stood facing each other to begin with, neither speaking, as if they were uncertain as to what to do. Even if they hadn't seen each other in a long time, it would have seemed a little less tense than it had done in those few moments. Yet even when they had finally broken the silence, it had been even less conversation than with the rest of them. Akemi actually knew Deidara, had done for years, and yet it was simply a couple of questions, and that was it—a strange incident for old friends.

At least, that's what the Akatsuki had thought them to be.

Regardless of their caution, they hadn't suspected Deidara might have bullied Akemi when they were younger, but...it explained everything. Abruptly things had changed: Deidara's previous relationship with Akemi had been a good thing, knowing they had been friends. But now they knew this, it was only bad—she wouldn't feel comfortable around him, and might even be angry at him for all that had occurred in the past. Growling in irritation with that realization, Sasori snapped,

"You would have to ruin everything now, of all times."

"It couldn't have been that bad," Itachi once again cut in with his logic, continuing on calmly before anyone could cut him off,

"She would have said something more than pleasantries. There was no anger in her when she greeted Deidara-san—merely uncertainty."

"Look, un. I didn't bully her—exactly. But Akemi was really introverted in Iwagakure. It wasn't like she was shy...precisely, but she just...kept to the shadows, un. She never let anyone get close; no one really knew her, un."

As Deidara spoke those words, the memories of his childhood instantly came back, further reinforcing the change he had just experienced from her, and making him think over the way he had acted towards her. Deidara had never said anything to her to try and bully her—to upset her; when he thought about it now, he had considered it teasing, and nothing more. Everything he had just said to the others was true—his gaze drifting to the floor as he remembered it all.

Ever since he'd first known Akemi, having only moved to Iwagakure recently, she had always been the same. She had introduced herself when joining the academy, but she had been quiet and introverted—something that the other children merely brushed off as nerves at moving to a new village. At suddenly having to make new friends and adapt to a whole different life. Though as the days had passed and everyone had accepted her as a member of the village, nothing ever altered with the way Akemi acted. She had continued to remain quiet, always sitting in the corner in every lesson and never speaking up. It seemed it hadn't been about her nerves at making new friends or being in a new village...it was just the way she was. Deidara couldn't help but smirk at the memory of how he had used to call her 'Yurei' (ghost) because it was like people could see her, but you couldn't interact with her—as if she was merely an image that your hand would pass through if you tried to touch it.

Akemi had focused on her work for the most part, choosing that over spending time with friends or playing with everyone else in the academy. To begin with people had tried to get her to do things; to come out after school and hang out with the rest of them—but she never did, and soon everyone gave up trying. She had never involved herself with anything other than the academy and training to be a ninja, proving herself to be talented at that, her grades always good...but Deidara had often wondered if that was her life. That Akemi hadn't cared about dealing with people or making friends, and all that mattered was becoming as strong a ninja as she could be. Becoming a high ranked ninja in the village one day. Why she couldn't do both, Deidara had never understood—and it was partly the reason why he had constantly tried to do something about it.

When the rest of the children in the academy would play games together, either during a break or just around the village, whenever Deidara had seen her, he picked her out and dragged her into playing whatever game they were playing at the time. He always said 'it was about time she joined in' and to 'have some fun for once', and made her participate. But though Akemi had never really fought his actions, refusing to agree and struggling to get away, she had never really played along, either. She just...didn't bother to do anything when they started to play. During games, everyone always tries their best to win and score points—it's generally the whole point of a game—but Akemi had done as little as possible, meaning she constantly ended up losing. When playing ball games, even if the ball had easily been in reach for her, if she just ran to catch it, Akemi simply used to jog or even walk over so she'd miss it.

But Dei had never stopped dragging her into the games and making Akemi play. Her actions during them made it clear that she wanted to fail—that she wanted to lose. That she didn't want to score points or try to play along, and it was what caused Deidara to end up teasing Akemi whenever she had done it, saying she was 'addicted to losing'. That, in itself, became the reason he had forced her to join in, saying Akemi needed to play in order to 'get her regular fix'. If she was going to make herself lose every time, then he might as well help her along with it. At the time Deidara had never considered it to be bullying. Akemi had never appeared affected by it; she just went along with it all and accepted what was going on, brushing off what he had said. It was just teasing, that was all—if she actually played with them all and did something about it, then maybe it wouldn't be that way. But nothing ever changed, and Deidara continued to say the same things.

Now, however, and he couldn't help but wonder if it really had affected her. Akemi had always been a pretty emotionless child, so it wouldn't really have shown through. But it still could have left a mark. Sure, not enough that would have made her march up to him just now and start screaming in his face, but maybe enough to make her act like that. Even if her personality was different, the fact that talking to him made her alter slightly was still a sign that he changed things. But he wasn't sure what to do. Would anything he said make Akemi understand why he'd said all those things when they were younger? Would she actually be able to talk to him with everything that happened? Because when he thought about it, Deidara did understand one thing:

He wanted to make up for what he'd done back then.