Part 1 Lola And Brandon

Part 3

LOLA'S POV

I felt so stupid. To try and attempt to be sexy was the stupidest thing I have ever done. He just stared at me like I was some clown that was trying so hard to be funny and was not impressed. "Let's talk about this later"  I knew exactly what those words meant, he didn't want things to go down a familiar road that didn't have to. I couldn't help but think my holding back on him for 5 months has turned him off completely.

All of a sudden all my insecurites came back punching me hard in my heart. My throat started to clog not realizing I was holding back tears. I was looking at a piece of clothing not even noticing that I was gripping it hard while it was hanging off the hanger.

I had to leave.

I didn't want these people to see me cry.  I let go of the long sleeve shirt and was about to leave to go to the restroom when a lady who looked 2 or 3 years older than me tapped me on my shoulder.

"Excuse me ma'am" she said before I could turn around completely, I didn't want to consider that I had been crying. I breathed in and out quickly before turning around with a smile on my face. She started "I can't find- Oh." She cut off her sentence and looked at me with a worried expression. I knew why but I acted as if I didn't.

I looked at her with a confused face asking what without saying. "Yes? What can't you find?" I said trying to distract her from my face. "Oh dear, are you okay?" I then knew that there was no escape from me telling 'Yea I'm fine.'

"Oh yes, I have really bad allergies around this time." I said.

This lady was obviously not convinced but she let it go anyway. "Alright, well do you have any idea where the dressing room is?" I was very glad she changed the subject. "Yes they are upstairs and if you look to your right there will be a sign with the bold letter's saying: DRESSING ROOM."

I smiled at her and before she left she had said in a whisper "You're too beautiful to be hurt by anybody." I was taken aback from this, I felt tears welling up and I quickly said 'thank you' and turned to leave. I had forgotten about Brandon this whole time, I remembered and was going to tell him but he'd know I had been crying so instead I just left.

I had never walked to fast the bathroom in my life, I hadn't even noticed I was walking fast till i got to the restroom and was out of breath. I went in the biggest stall and stood there like a wimp and cried my eyes out.

This is why he doesn't love me, I thought. I always cry. I am literally so sensitive for no reason. How is my mother so strong mentally and I am so weak. I must get this side from my weak ass father. I mean why not? He did leave my mom with a child because he was scared and felt he wasn't ready to have a child.

He's probably in the store not even caring where I am right now. I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to end things right now. I never show any affection toward him and all he does is show affection toward me.

This is the second time these thoughts have been brought up. The first time actually resulted in us not seeing each other for 1 month. I always hold back when it comes to these things. We had made up, he told me that he will never pressure me into doing things I don't want to do and will always love me regardless sex or not. He is so understanding and the fact that I am just now trying to break out of the innocent stage is very late and I'm crying at that.

I am literally a weak ass bitch.

I heard somebody come to the bathroom and try to open my door. "Somebody's in here," I said. People are so rude. The person wouldn't let go and still tried to open the door. "Excuse me, but I swear I said somebody was in here," I said now getting irritated. I opened the door ready to confront the person who was trying to come in.

I bumped into this tall figure, one which I knew of. I was afraid to look up at him, I didn't want him to know I was weak and was crying about this situation again. He didn't say a word and wrapped one arm around my waist and took his other hand and lifted my chin up.

He stared at me with worried eyes. Maybe because he had notice my red and puffy eyes, or because it took him a while to find me. We were staring into each other's eyes, his burning into mine. He then kissed my forehead and hugged me. I couldn't help but cry into his chest, I looked like a mess crying over something that was so ridiculous.

I had noticed he had a bag in his hand, I didn't ask mainly because I wasn't focused on it. He whispered 'Its okay, I'm here.' I couldn't help but feel so stupid once again. This boy is still holding me regardless my emotional self, is in a women's bathroom holding me, and is telling me he is here and that everything is okay.

If this was all fake I'd want him to not tell me. I know that sounds horrible but this feeling was amazing and made realize I have the best husband in the world. I know that sounds very far and I took it to another level, but remember when I said we basically have a future together? Yea this is part of it, he is my husband in my eyes.

We walked out of the women's bathroom hand in hand. The women coming in the bathroom were giving us strange looks but I didn't care because I was so evolved in what just happened. Brandon has seemed to not care as well, he kept his face straight ahead as I followed behind.

I kept wondering what was going on in his head. I was so curious and wished he say something, but once again I kept quiet. We had walked out the store and made it to his car. Him being the gentlemen he was opened the door and let me in. Once again him not saying a word.
At this point I'm getting worried, because my curiosity was so strong I wanted to know what was going on in his head.
"Please stop worrying." He said chuckling. I heard him but acted as if I didn't. "What do you mean," I asked.
"Lola.... do you think I don't love you or something?" I wasn't sure how to answer this question, for the simple fact that I wasn't sure what the real answer was.
"Answer me honestly. There is no right or wrong answer." With a sigh of relief I could answer the questions. With is being a no-wrong-answer I still couldn't find myself to answer.
We hadn't left the parking lot yet, he had been sitting here waiting on my answer.

"Lola if you aren't happy with me, if you feel as if I don't love you, if you feel like I am not good for you. You need to let me know so I can fix this, I'll leave now and you can be happy without me" I felt really bad, because it wasn't him. It was me. I couldn't help but breakdown inside.

"Brandon... it's not you at all. I know you love me so much. I am the problem. I can't help but think your too good to me and I do nothing in return." He had then looked at me and smiled. I was really confused about why. He started the car and pulled off. It was silent the whole ride back to my house.

We pulled up in the driveway and we went to the house. I unlocked the door and walked in. He stood at the doorway and leaned against it, he had the bag I saw earlier in his hand, and handed it to me. I gave his a confused look.
"Just take it please." He said. I grabbed the bag and he pulled the bag which caused me to get closer to him. He once more stared hard into my eyes keeping a straight face, I could almost see hurt in him, but he then covered it with a smile and kissed my forehead.

"Lola, you are truly the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'll truly miss you." He said ever so softly, he started turning around and I was so baffled. I didn't know what to say.

"Wait!" I yelled. "Where are you going?" I asked extremely worried. He turned back around smiled at me and said "I'm going to leave." I was going through so many emotions at once, I started getting a headache. Was he breaking up with me? Was the first thought that came to mind, which brought anger and sadness.

"Wait you're breaking up with me?" I asked furious. He stopped smiling and walked toward me making me back up all the way till we hit a wall.

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D: sry for making this chapter so long. I hope you guys enjoy it though...

...Sending Love.....

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