Gone

The Transition

"What's happening. Where's my daughter? What's going on?" crying. who is that? what is that? "Get out of my way you-" - Can't you see that our daughter is in there?! ALONE?? She's only 17!" my parents. Where am I? what is tha- " aghhh" it hurt to scream but the pain coming from my stomach, my head, my leg.. it's excruciating. "AGHHHH" I let out another yell, what happened? Silence. Darkness. That's all there is. I feel my body being ripped from where I was laying, someone just numb me. please numb me. My hearing is returning just as quickly as it's leaving, sharp cries come as they abruptly diminish. " AMARA, BABY" my mother exclaims. My sight regains as I see my location, the white matte wall of what seems to be a hospital. The wall is running so fast, or maybe it's just how fast I'm being skated down the halls of the crowded hospital. Faces appear over me as I blink my eyes back to reality, everything is blurry due to the tears coating my eyes and swiftly streaming down my cheeks. Various locks of my mothers chestnut colored hair wave in my face as she hovers over me in awe of my sight redemption. "mommy's here mommy's here" she whispers over me, a wave of comfort floods through my body.. Until I feel a puncture-like sting in my stomach once again. "AGHHH" I sob and shout once again as I feel my mothers hand shake in mine. "Amara! sweetheart!" I feel a warm clammy hand find it's way on my forehead as my wet eyes meet my stressed fathers. The green piercing through the brown today, my eyes relax in the comfort of my fathers trance. I feel comfort in the sight of my parents. Until my eyes meet the white matte ceiling and then slowly creep to the back of my head, my ears begin to ring and all of the sounds heighten into one, deafening, pitch. "CODING SHES CODING GET HER INTO O.R 2 NOW." I hear one doctor call. "I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Pavesi, but this is as far as you can go." I hear another doctor say to my parents. My mother croaks, my father curses, and I am here with my insides tearing and bleeding isolated in my own thoughts.. alone.

——POST SURGERY

My eyes remain closed, though I feel my senses have regulated. My body feels... fine? How many days has it been? Is this what they call the surge? Will I be fine and then just die out of nowhere? Where is the post traumatic stress and pain? Where is the pain from post surgery recovery? My mind is racing with idea followed by idea, each more troubling than the next. I hear footsteps of various people but I keep my eyes shut. "I'm telling you, I've never seen anything like it." I heard a woman aggressively whisper. "Are you sure all levels dropped?" This now was a males voice. "Flat-lined for a good 20 minutes!" This was the woman again. "That's impossible, 20 minutes?" " strangest thing I've ever seen in my life, I think it has to do with Dr. Tello and whatever drug he gave her." drug? what kind of drug? The man agrees "I don't know about that guy.. they call him a specialist but I think he's just shady. Always giving patients a pump of whatever he has in those vial's. I don't like that one b-" "ROUNDS EVERYONE START YOUR ROUNDS." I heard another party intervene with their conversation, they both groan and walk away.

I opened my eyes finally, pleasantly surprised with my oddly vibrant vision. My mother is curled up on a hospital chair sleeping and my father is in the hall talking with a woman at the front desk with a cup of coffee in his hand. I sit myself upright, and the very movement causes my mom to flinch and stir awake.. talk about a light sleeper. "AMARA BABYGIRL OH MY!" She shouts and cries through her wide smile grabbing me tightly in her arms. "OH ANTHONY ANT OUR GIRL OUR LITTLE GIRL SHE'S OKAY" My mother shouts between cries. I hear the stomps of my father towards the room. "AMARA, thank you lord, thank you." He says into my hair as he wraps his arms around my mother and I kissing the back of my head over and over.

"Mom, dad" I finally speak. Just so happy to be here with them. But why am I so hungry?

"Oh dear we are probably suffocating her hun." My mother laughs causing them to let go.

"oh darlin' we were so worried." my father exhales

"You scared us half to death!" my mom is holding her chest, still shaken by everything.