Tochi no Beeru (Land of the Veils)

IV

IV

            The hardest part of any and all of my trips is telling Nana that I have to leave again. Seeing the change in her face always brought a pain to my gut. This time, however, I really don't know what to say. There's really no telling how long I'll be gone.

Nana and Yasu return from their walk snow-covered and shivering. Yasu shakes the snow off frantically and scampers into the sitting room to lie by the fire. Nana throws off her coat and snow boots and passes straight by me into the kitchen. I hear pots and pans banging against the counters. Yeah she definitely still pissed off at me. With caution, I walk into the kitchen to try to calm her down.

Nana hums to herself as she vigorously stirs a pot of soup, her luscious ass moving in time with the spoon. I decide to come at her with a playful approach by sneaking up behind her. Right before I could even say anything, Nana picks up her hand without looking back.

"Don't start that playful shit, Toshiro," she begins, "I'm not in the mood for it." I huff to myself and come to her side so that I can see her face.

"Yo, what's good with you?" I ask her, ole girl still not looking at me. She scoffs and continues to hum, the sound seeming tenser than before. Being that she was ignoring my ass, I repeat myself to see if she got the message. No answer.

"Yo, why you always do this shit when I'm trying to conversate with you?" Nana slams the top on the pot and turns to me abruptly.

"What the fuck you mean 'why do I always do this?!' Toshiro, I don't know if you noticed, honey, but we've been together for a minute now," she yells. Oh, here we go again. Nana puts her left foot in front of her right and cocks her wrist tightly against her hip. I just know that Shorty is about to spazz. "Toshiro, I can't do this disappearing- reappearing shit. I barely see you now, and I understand you got to work, but you never make a conscious effort to even come back to the crib and spend time. That's number one. Number two: every time I talk about us moving forward and going to the next level you always shut me down. Toshiro I've been with you since I was seventeen years old. I know that doesn't seem that long to you, but this shit has been long to me. I know I'm young, but you're getting up there. You can't keep coming home to fuck, go to sleep and then leave out again and not even give a damn about my needs!" Nana takes a deep breath and goes over to check some rice that was steaming in another pot. I wipe my face with my hand and sigh. I don't know how I'm gonna get through this one.

"Nana, baby listen, and listen to me good. You know you my shorty, and you also know that I got this job to secure things for us. Everything I do in this world is for us. If I didn't work we wouldn't have what we have now. I need you to be patient with me until I get everything settled, and then after that the conversation will be different. I promise you that." Nana lights up a cigarette and continues to cook. I notice her eyes begin to water.

"Here you go with this us shit. Toshiro, I don't think you know what us is. You're twenty-five and still ripping and running the streets while I'm up here taking care of "our" dog in "our" home. Now I need you to listen to me. Please remember I decided to move in with you because you told me that you wanted to build something with me. I've been in this damn house for going on three years now and I ain't seen nothing built but a hot ass mess. So this is what I'm giving you, if you cannot get your shit together, don't look for me to be here anymore, and that's on some real shit." She looks at me and shakes her head dismissively. I suck my teeth and go upstairs to pack my bags. I got a job to do. I don't have time for this back and forth shit.