We've Got These Big City Dreams.

Four years have passed, and still to the day he’s never attempted to call, write or visit. Did I do something? Maybe it’s my fault, maybe I should have visited, I tried to call and writing isn’t really my thing. I suppose he moved on, I’ve tried, I’ve told everyone that I have, when inside I really haven’t.

Four years ago when we all graduated high school, the four boys left for tour, and then at the end of the summer I left to go to New York City for college, I expected him to visit once I’d got settled in but he never did, I never heard anything from him again.

I’m in my final year of college now, I live with three of the nicest girls ever, we became best friends within the first month of living together, since then we’ve been inseparable, constantly asking each other for advice on everything from clothes to boys, having late night talks about nothing and the laughter, oh the laughter I love, I wouldn’t know what to do without them.

They’ve all gone through their fair share of boyfriends throughout college, but I’ve never gone past a first date, I just don’t feel like a can do it all again, the fear of being hurt and left again stops me from letting anyone in. I’ll have to one day, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, I suppose not everyone is like him.

Meganne, Sophia and Lily have all told me to try, but I just can’t. I suppose they don’t know what it’s like giving the one person you loved and trusted everything and them just leaving and never contacting you again, it hurts, more than they know.

I'll just have to live with it, and try and move on, even if in the end, it kills me.