And this is why I love you

Feelings

Jo's perspective
I don't know what to do anymore. I love Jake too much to let go of him. If I am away from him for too long I feel a rip in my heart. He's always had a huge impact on my life since I joined EastEnders in 2006, the same year he did. You see, Jake is my on screen husband, Max Branning, but as well as that we have a sexual relationship off screen which nobody knows about... not even Neil and Alison. I can't control my feelings for much longer. Its all going to come out soon; I just know it! I'm hoping it doesn't because it would be either or and I'm not sure who Jake would choose. I'd like to think it would be me as he tells me he loves me more than Alison but I don't know.
I cannot resisted his soft, smooth lips. I love it. The feeling of his lips pressing on mine. The cold, wet feeling. It turns me straight on, he knows it does. I love it when we kiss because while we're doing it he slides his hand down my breasts. That makes me horny, really horny. He slips his hand into my jeans, then into my thongs and then he fingers me. I pull his t-shirt off, he removes his fingers and hand from my vagina then pulls my skirt and thong down whilst I pull my blouse and bra off. I unzip his trousers. He pulls them off along with his boxers. Then the fun starts. We lie on the floor, sofa, bed depends on where we are. We have sex in most places, hotels, our homes, at work, anywhere really. Jake lies down first, I climb on top of him. He inserts his penis into my vagina and then I ride. Jake does it in a way that Neil does not. I prefer the way Jake does it; it's more comforting. He pushes hard whenever I want him. It's great. After the sexual intercourse, I usually give him a blowjob as I know he loves them especially after he's ejaculated sperm into my vagina. The great thing about sex is I can't get pregnant so we don't have to have protection. I love sucking his penis off and he loves me doing it. Us kissing always escalates into sex, but I suppose that's because we only see each other once or twice a week outside of work. Which is shit really but as long as it doesn't blow our cover I guess it's great really! You can't even smell the fact I've had sex so Neil just suspects I've been the this book club I've said I have been going to. We both always seem to enjoy our sexual relationship with each other. I really, really like it. He treats me like a his princess that's he's going to grow old with. However, I don't know whether Jake feels the same way about our sex but this is why I love him.