Zombie Shopping

Are you ever in a public place and think: Fuck, if the zombie apocalypse happens now, these are the people I will have to team up with to survive.

No?

Well, nor did I.

You know, people are DAF! For those of you who don't know, that means Dull As Fuck.

I mean, a rotting person staggers up to you and groans and you just start lecturing him about personal hygiene? Sorry bitch but honestly, how stupid can you get? Is the massive chunks missing from his forearms not enough of a clue?

Anyway, I suppose I should start at the beginning, this, in case you can't tell, is a story of the zombie apocalypse and it surprisingly started when I was shopping in Tesco with my father.

At first I thought it was the normal Tesco we all know and extremely dislike, I don't think you're allowed to say hate, with the trolleys hitting one another, women standing in the middle of the aisles with vacant expressions on their faces wondering if they should buy the blue or the red loaf of bread for their children who are currently having a sword fight with the french baguettes.

The men on their phones in the women's aisle asking what brand of tampons or pads to buy. Babies are screeching and throwing toys at each other, and one even manages to throw a 500g bag of flour at their mother's head. Mutant babies with super strength...

This is my usual shop at Tesco, so it wasn't much of a surprise when a woman ran in screaming yelling incoherently. It was only when I saw her face and I was a believer of pure, unadulterated madness.

If a famous persons goes through a psychotic breakdown the press legally have to dull it down and not give all the information out but this...

This was turkey terrifying.

That's right, turkey. I mean, turkeys are terrifying. With their large, bulging eyes, long, hanging necks and scary squarks. And the meat off of one is scary too. It looks like some slab of albino human flesh just chopped off of an arm or a thigh. Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if it was human that the taste of it...

I'm getting off topic...

This woman looked scary. Mascara and eyeliner streaming down her face muxed in with tears and snot. Foundation streaky from where she rubbed her face every 2 seconds. That wasn't the worst though, oh no! The blood dripping from her forehead from the obvious wound on her head was. And also, it didn't help that when she ran into the shop she just happened to be carrying an actual human arm! Like, what the hell?It looked like a piece of raw turkey meat covered in blood... I think that I should stop with the turkeys now, all they do is look and taste disgusting... EURGH!

She was screaming about bloody cannibals and her poor, dear Derek which made no sense to anyone.

Then, out of nowhere, there was a groan.

__________________________________________

Hello Pebble People.

That's the Prolouge to Zombie Shopping.

Tell me what you think.

Also, anyone else think turkeys are weird and scary?

Please Vote, Comment, Fan and... Read on.

Farewell Pebbles...

DOTSSS.........................................