how much

#01

stay strong, okay bby? i know you can make it bc you're a strong girl . if you ever need a shoulder to cry on , call me ? :)

yeah , i know . i think i'm just clinging onto the hope that we can go back to how it used to be , complaining abt irritating bullshit that happened , whining abt how bored we were , texting each other i miss you's and i love u's because we had so little to talk abt . i just didn't think it would leave so quickly and suddenly , and i definitely didn't get to treasure the moments when we met in person , and because we were hiding our relationship , we never got to hug in or share much skin ship at all , which i know we both craved . goddammit , i really miss the feeling of his hugs , the soft chuckle he'd make everytime i amused him , the way he'd pull me close when no ones around because we couldn't resist not having each other close at all times . i say i don't miss him , but truthfully , i really , really fucking do . he's all i've ever wanted for two straight years , and now that i actually managed to get a grasp on him , he decides to just leave like it was nothing . i don't want to chase after him because i just don't want to annoy him , and also because i was heartbroken at the fact he'd use an excuse to break up with me .

i must be a boring girlfriend .

or just boring in general .

or was it

the lack of physical contact and/or communication ? we're both busy during the holidays right now and we have nearly no time for each other . was it that ? i admit i even thought of ' taking a break ' because i'm tired of just texting and calling every night when we're both so goddamn exhausted , fuck .

i don't know .

but i miss him
so
bad .

i know you do .
i'm here for you , i'll try my best to help but idk if i can do much . cheer up , alright ?

i can't , i miss him . DELETE

alright , thanks bbg . 0:)