Alighting

Two: "Meeting"

TWO - PETER | MEETING

August 29th, 2016

Rosford Prep was the same as always. Same group of friends, same girlfriend - same lonesome buildings, and especially same condescending headmaster and staff. I missed all of it, dearly. Being home for the summer holidays was never a fun time after I discovered the new and improved life here. I could stretch out, be comfortable, go to the library and read novels for hours without judgement. I could practice on the rugby pitch for hours, if I wanted - and the only scorning I would receive would be from Iris for not spending enough time with her.

This was the life. Life at home was great, sure, but I always felt so claustrophobic. Like I could never truly be myself.

My parents were wonderful and supportive, and when my little sister Paris went missing, they wasted no time in making sure I knew that that they loved me, that they were proud of me, even though Paris' disappearance affected them more than anybody else. I stopped going out late during the summer, and then pretty much stopped going out altogether. I couldn't bear to see my mother almost cry out with relief every time I came home on time.

And I got it - I missed Paris too. In a different way. I couldn't imagine losing one of my children and having to look at her empty room everyday. It killed me too. My parents were even reluctant to let me return to Rosford but we'd already signed all the forms for each year - and paid the money.

And Iris would have probably flipped out if I hadn't returned. I was beginning to be more of a trophy wife than a boyfriend. Having a boyfriend on the team was the coolest thing, even if your boyfriend is smaller than any of the other players and Asian. I was the fullback. I was 5'9, and pretty large for an Asian - that's why I was accepted on the team.

And my impeccable speed and agility, but besides that...

Anyway. Paris.

Paris had disappeared on November 2nd, 2015 - it had been in the middle of the school year. I barely remember the details of her disappearance, only that she'd been at home for a few weeks from Rosford for some reason - I remembered the phone call. We'd just come back from the biggest match of the season, and won. It was a huge celebration and Iris had just wrapped her arms around me as my phone rang. I kissed her on the cheek and whispered that I'd be back, that I had a phone call to take.

I didn't return. I don't remember much of that night, only that I was found in the middle of the rugby field staring at the pitch black expanse, trying to find constellations. The next day, in all my melancholy and pain, I spent a forgettable, typical afternoon in my dorm with Serena as we watched old movies, and avoided Iris. My parents picked me up some time the next day.

I would say it still hurts, but it got better. I came back in late January, and spent more time with Iris than ever. She really was the most beautiful girl I'd ever been with. Besides her personality.

Nothing compared to Serena, who was unfortunately more gorgeous than other girl at Rosford and more intelligent by tenfold. This dragged a lot of boys into our social circle, like moths to a flame. I'd made my peace that however cool and intelligent any of the boys seemed, once Serena rejected them, they'd always leave. Serena had always been there for me; when I tried out for the football team the first time and was accepted, when I asked Iris out, when I got the phone call that Paris was gone, every happy, miserable moment. Serena was the only person I trusted completely and unequivocally. I never knew where our friendship stemmed from. She was gorgeous, I was geeky. We didn't fit together in any way.

Iris paled in comparison.

Perhaps that's why I'd never felt like we made sense. Because we didn't - I was a freakishly smart Asian kid who barely made it on the rugby team, and she was this person from another realm. Whenever I'd tell Serena the way I felt about our relationship, she'd just smile and say that we complimented each other, that our relationship didn't conform to the normal 'ideal' relationship. I'd never felt that way. I never felt any sort of attraction, physical or emotional, to Iris. She was pretty, yes, and intelligent and popular but that never mattered. She was just Iris. I didn't love her - at least in any definition of love I could find.