WARING this chapter could be a trigger to some people. It contains self harm. YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ.
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When we came home I ran upstairs to my room, and got my clothes and a towel to take a shower.
~~~~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~~~~~
"Honey it's okay to let go... you don't have to fight again, and I know your strong but it's okay." I heard my mum, and I felt her hand touch mine.
I open my eyes to see my mum head down and my dad holding Sandra, I try to talk but something was in my mouth.
" She awake" Sandra said, and my dad rush over to hold my other hand.
"It's okay we are here, everything is going to be okay." My dad said, the doctor came in.
"Try not to speak, okay?" I nodded, and he took the tube out of my mouth.
"What happened?" I ask.
"Mr.T found you getting hurt by Britsheidy and her friends and stop them but you failed and hit your head on the lockers." She said with a tears in her Eyes and she walk out the room.
"You are luck that you are awake, your heart couldn't take it no more and gave out on you; you have to be more careful." The doctor was checking my vital signs.
"So what's wrong with me?" I knew the drill, I found out what's wrong with me and my parents sign some paperwork and I am out.
"Christina you have to be careful, special with your heart condition." My dad said, I Heard this so many time and I can't take it no more, I let go of my parents hands.
"Christina you have to listen to your parents, you could have died." One of the nurse said, bitch what do you know about my life? You don't know me. And last time they said I was supposed to die, and look at me I am here.
"I rather died, then being alive." I whisper hoping that nobody heard me.
~~~~~~~~~flashback over~~~~~~~~
I looked up to see my razor, I grab it and sat down on the bathtub floor, and I started to cry as I saw the blood coming out of my thigh
"Christina are you okay? Calum called twice, Christina can I come in? Are you okay" she ask, I couldn't move or talk, so I didn't answer her.
I wish my grandma was here tell me what to do, she was my best friend, sister, and a mother when my mum wasn't there and that's was like 95 percent of the time.
I closed my eyes just for a few seconds before Sandra started to yell again, so I open my eyes and stand up.
After I got done drying myself, I put on bandage on my thigh and got dressed.
Grabbing my dirty clothes, and open the door " finally you got out, are you okay?" Sandra said, as I pushed her out my way.
"yes.....no I don't know, I just felt different around calum but what if he was playing a game on Me, you know I can't handle it and you know it's to much for me to handle." I said, putting my dirty clothes on my bed and putting up the towel but Sandra stop me by grabbed my hand.
"Christina stop thinking like that, think of something happy, and I know you can handle it because you have be fighting your hole life." She look in to my eyes and I knew she was going to cry, I love her the best but I am tired of fighting everything.
"I know, it's just hard for me." I look down to see blood stains, so I push Sandra away and out of my room.
I need to stop all of this and do something, I just can't keep on going cutting myself just because I feel sad, and lonely.
I wish my grandma was here, she was the only person that knew what going on with me.
I started to walk to the bathroom to clean the cuts again, and when to bed, but I couldn't because my body hurts, and I couldn't stop thinking about calum and how I left him.
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A/N
Sorry guys for posting late, school had started and I had a lots of stuff to do so I hope you like this chapter.
I cried a little, and I am so sorry if I made you cry.
I hope you vote and comments
