The Irrelevants

Chapter 2

         Don't freak out. When I say we were four dead kids and one dead old dude in a classroom, I don't mean our bodies are sitting in shop class, just decomposing and rotting away. Our bodies were in many different places. Some of us were buried, some of us cremated and spread all over the world, and one of us was donated to science. I mean that our "spirits" or whatever, were in the shop class.

       "Wait. If you can see me, does that mean that you guys are also... ya know...dead?" I whispered the last word. I didn't want to offend them, had they not been. Some people are just really pale and dead-looking. Thinking back on it though, that wasn't really a good reason because non-dead, dead-looking people still couldn't see me or hear me or talk to me. Of course I would think of that now.

       "Yes. We are dead. We've been dead for a very long time. This is our hangout. Guys why don't you all introduce yourselves?" suggested the old man.

       Now, I changed the following dialogue. We have decided that we do not want our names shared. The names will be replaced with the nicknames that I assigned everyone.

       "Hi, I'm Washington Carver. I've been dead for 57 years now. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance." said the African-American boy who was partaking in shop class. I only mention his race because it will come up later. Anything I mention about these people will come up later.

        "Oh hi! I'm Virgin Mary! I'm so happy that God has led you to us! I've only been dead for a year, but I'm not really bothered by it anymore." squealed the girl who was also a part of shop class, though she didn't seem all that interested.

        "I guess it's my turn. I'm Hulk. It's pretty cool to have you here, I guess. I've been for maybe nine years?" huffed the Muscle Monster, the discomfort practically dripping from his words.

        "And I'm Fossil. I hold the record with a whopping 103 years. This is our little club, if you so wish to call it that. Who might you be?" asked the shop teacher. I was hesitant to answer. All of these people seem to have been dead for such a long time. I'm just worried that they won't accept me, but I decided to push aside my fears and go for it. Whatever happens, happens.

        "I'm Barbie. I've only been dead for three months and fifteen days." I told them. At the time, I used my real name, but, for safety and all, I used the nickname that they provided me later on.

       The next part was half creepy, half amazing. One by one, they stood up. When they were finally all standing, they spoke in a completely monotone voice. They were 100% in sync, and when they were finished speaking, chills were running up my spine.

          "Welcome Barbie. We are The Irrelevants. We welcome you with open arms. You have a home here. We are glad you have found us. Welcome to the club."