Sepia Memories

Feelings (R)

What is the definition of a crush? Someone you like for a short time. What does it mean to like someone? It's like a crush, but stronger. What does it mean to love someone? I don't know, but I think the dictionary got it all wrong.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I fell in crush with a boy. He was cute (still is), smart, a dancer and overall perfect. To me that is.

But there was one little issue.

He was with my friend. Well we weren't friends at that time. Just classmates. So I channeled my crush into a dire need to become his friend. Eventually we got there, became close and all that. But then, one simple wink ruined it all.

In the hall, I sat with a classmate, S. We were talking to one of the senior boys, when he passed. He nodded at me, winked and then smiled. My heart skipped, but I kept my cool and nodded back. I didn't notice S was smiling too.

"Why are you smiling? Do you think he was winking at you?" S asked me, a smirk on her face.

"Was he winking at you?" I asked, my voice a bit shaky. I didn't want anyone to know I had a crush in him.

"Of course. Oh wait, you thought it was ........ Ha!" Then she ran off to the girls dorm to broadcast it. I took a deep breath and continued my conversation with Justice, the cute senior that liked bread as much as I did.

"You're needed in Your room right now" Al told me, an evil smirk on her face. I gulped and acted confident, giving Al a disgusted look.

The rest of my classmates basically told me to stay away from their 'men'. How funny. But do you know why it hurt? I was seen like the slut of my class. The youngest one yet. I cried all night, and I still haven't been able to get over that day.

The pain of all that still remains, and I don't think I'll ever get over it. Because I've even started believing that I'm a slut. But I'm not.

I'm so confused.