Tryll where are you? We're going to play 30 min. from now.
-Ashton
Napairap ako sa text ni Ash 30 minutes pa pala eh. Excited lang? Akala naman niya ang layo layo ko. Eh nasa iisang campus lang naman kami. Seriously talking isang building lang pagitan namin. Tss.
I fished my phone in my ripped jeans pocket. When i got my phone i dialled his number.
Nawala ang attention ko sa phone ko ng may bumati sakin.
"Uy Tryll! Hi. Mag pe-perform pala kayo mamaya?" Tanong ng third year na hindi ko naman masyadong kilala. If im not mistaken she's Kane.
"Ahm. Yup. Nood kayo ah?" I smiled. She smile back.
"Of course. Favorite band ko kayo eh" Ngiting ngiti niyang sabi.
"Anyway i have to go. See you later
Bye" Paalam ko. Agad naman siyang ngumiti at tumango.
"Bye ate ganda."
Nag blush naman ako sa puri niya. She just chuckle softly. Kahit madalas niya akong tinatawag na ate ganda im still not used to it. Nagpaalam lang ulit ako sakniya, siya namn sinundan niya lang ako ng tingin.
I looked at my phone. Why he's not answering my call? I keep calling him but he keeps rejecting my call. What the hell?
9:45, in 15 minutes may pe-perform na kami and i can't find him.
Baka ayaw magpakita?
I want him to watch me while im performing. Well i dedicated my song to him, to Nixon.
Please! Nix answer my call. Damn it. Pumunta ako ng cafeteria only to find out kung nandun ba siya pero wala.
Ohgod. Where can i find him? I keep walking baka sakaling makita ko siya. Hanggang sa dinala akong paa ko sa gymnasium.
Habang palapit ng palapit pabigat ng pabigat yung nararamdaman ko.
Why?
Kanina pa nag vavibrate yung phone. Malamang text ni Ashton in any minute mag pe-perform na kami.
And here i am finding my lost boyfriend. Oh great!
Why do i have this feeling na hindi maganda ang dadatnan ko sa gym?
Or im being paranoid or what?
Oh please Nixon. Please! Don't let me down.
Unti unti kong binuksan yung gym nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng wala akong makita. Geez! Mamatay ako sa kaba eh. Naglakad lakad pa ko ng unti bago ako nag decide bumalik.
"But how about Tryll? She's your girlfriend right? Hebrew?"
"Yes babe. Don't worry about her, she's nothing gonna do about this"
I stopped on my tracks. Am i hearing it correctly? Nanigas ako narinig ko. My breathing accelerated. Oh god. Please.
I forced myself to walk. Sinundan ko yung pinangagalingan ng boses kahit sobrang bigat na ng nararamdaman ko. My eyes become teary eyed but i immediately stop myself. No. I cant cry.
Baka ibang Tryll naman yon? Baka hindi si Hebrew yun. Hindi lang naman ako ang nagiisang Tryll dito diba? Hindi lang din naman si Nixon ang may pangalang Hebrew dito diba? Diba?
Who im kidding? Stop fooling yourself Tryll Isabelle. You know that he's the one who spoke!
And there! I see him kissing another girl. Again.
I started to cry. Why? Why im not still used to this? He always like that, he always break my heart.
I want to move. I want to get out of here but my foot can't. Shit.
"Oh god! Hebrew! Tryll is here"
Yes im here.
"Baby" Agad siyang napalingon sakin, Shocked written on his face but there's no guilt.
Nag vavibrate ulit yung phone ko. Si Ashton tumatawag. I answer his call.
"Yes?" Pinilit kong patatagin yung boses ko.
"Where the hell are you?" Annoyed hint in his voice.
Nakatingin lang siya sakin habang yung babae nakayuko.
"Im com... coming" My voice cracked.
"What the f? Are you crying? Tell me where are you?! Fucking shit!"
Bakit walang guilt sa mukha niya? Ayun lang naman gusto kong makita eh. Bakit wala? Bakit parang hindi siya apektado na nahuli ko siya? Anong parang? He's not affected and that's the fact.
Tuloy lang sa pag agos yung luha ko. Tumigil ka naman please? Hindi man lang ba niya ako lalapitan to say sorry?
"Una na ko Hebrew. Sorry" Nakayukong sabi nung babae. Sorry for what? For kissing my boyfriend? I badly want to pull her hair but i dont have enough strength. Sa nakita ko palang ubos na ubos na. You're not still used to this Isabelle? Dapat nga immune kana eh. Bakit parang bago lang lahat sayo to? He always new to me.
"I'll call you later" Humarap siya sa babae. Wala na bang mas sasakit dito?
"Damn Tryll! Is it Hebrew again?" Napapitlag ako sa biglang sigaw ni Ash.
Pinatay ko yung tawag.
"Si---- sige una...... na...ko" I said between my sob. Inunanahan ko ng umalis yung babae.
I turned my back. I run as fast as i can. Hindi man lang ba niya ko hahabulin? I looked back pero agad ko din binalik sa harap. Titignan na lang niya ba ko? Ano! Ganiyan na lang? Titignan na lang niya akong umiiyak? Hindi man lang baniya ko hahabulin at sasabihan ng sorry? At pupunasan yung luha ko?
There he is, he just stand there with his new playmate. Watching me while im walking away as if was nothing to him. There's no guilt written on his face. Nahuli siya yun lang yun.
He was torture to me, he is toxic for me.
He hurt me, he always did. Then why im still inlove with him?
How i wish he loved me like i love him.
End of prologue
