Wrapped Up Ugly

wrapped up ugly - Jessie McCrindle.

Chapter one
Do I stand in everyone's way, am I a person nobody wants to be around, am I just surrounded by people that don't want me, am I just annoying everybody's company; I mean, I know I'm worthless, but am I this bad? I keep going over things in my head; it seemed like nothing made sense to me until now. Looking back, I don't see how I was so puzzled by it all, because all of the pieces were right there in front of me. Growing up, I had my mom and dad on my side, I seemed to be happy when I was a child, but now that I've grown up, I feel like the happiness is fading; and it's not only that, I had gone through the beginning of my life with so many people, and now I don't have many people at all.  Once over I was so popular, it's kind of hard to believe what I've turned to, plus the fact that most people turned away... And I still don't know why. But Instead of rushing into who I've become, let's start with who I once was, right back in 2006.

It was the first day of middle school, my alarm had only just gone off; I remember hitting the stop switch and falling back asleep on the couch almost straight away, I wasn't really a morning person, and I didn't like school all that much either. Although I have a fair amount of friends, it just wasn't really my thing. Thirty two minutes after my alarm went off, I decided to wake up. As I dragged myself over to the wardrobe; rubbing my eyes I grabbed a few clothes out, and then I started getting dressed. I didn't care much at all on how I looked, I was always remembered as the person that chose out my friends through the personality of the individual, and although I was picked on a lot myself for the design of my clothing, I decided not to follow the crowd, so I didn't judge anyone else; not only because I didn't see the point in it, but also because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I didn't want to be labelled a bully. I am now dressed. I was wearing a white vest top along with a leather jacket, leggings and black low-heeled boots.  Feeling kind of drowsy, I headed over to my drawers where my makeup was laid out everywhere. I put on my foundation first, which is pretty dark for my colour, and then picked up my eyeliner which made my eyes stand out bright blue. I then put some peach coloured lipstick on, scrunched my hair up into a messy bun and then headed downstairs. 
My mom was in the kitchen decorating, we had only just moved house in Nashville, it's a pretty big house I must say, the kitchen has black worktops, white stools and a marble coloured laminate flooring; it also has light brown wooden cupboards (about four, not that it matters.) screwed together and the walls... well, they're getting painted grey; and for a retail saleswomen, my mom isn't doing too bad of a job. 
I headed toward the kitchen to pick up my lunch from the counter, as always; it was already made. Chicken tikka sandwiches along with an apple, an orange and a carton of pineapple juice. I placed my bait box in my school bag, after doing so, I headed to the table in the hallway, next to the front door to grab my keys, as I turned around, I yelled, "thanks for lunch mom, see you after school!" and slammed the door behind me. I took one step forward, keen to get the bus, when my mom came outside and said "now Jessie, what is it we always do on your first day back at school?" I smirked and said "take a picture." while attempting to be blunt. "Yes."
*shutter sounds*
"Now sunshine, I'd appreciate it if you didn't rush off like that, you know how I like making sure you're all equipped on a morning and fully ready for school. Go on, go and get your bus."
I looked at my mom with a smile; I was so glad that was over. I glanced out of the corner of my eye, but before I had the chance to turn around properly; it hit me that people were staring. All I could hear was the laughing in the background that had taken over the sound of the bus's exhaust. It was already indicated that everyone had just seen my mom take a picture of me, I turn around and see that the children from the off the bus are still pointing and laughing, but that doesn't bother me the slightest. I took a stride towards the yellow garnets bus, made my way through the crowd of people that I've never seen before, and took the first seat behind the driver.
We stopped off at a few places to pick some people up, I didn't know anyone so I guess the only option I had was looking out of the window next to me. We drove past a few schools, quite old looking; but also very intellectual by the way the school uniform was. I know you aren't supposed to judge people by the way they dress (which I'm not doing) but they seemed like they were in a place they enjoyed and they were sticking in at what they do.
After sitting on the bus for almost half an hour, we finally got to school. 
It was very old looking; it was such a dark place compared to the other schools that I had seen on the bus. It was quite haunted looking too. It was made with grey coloured bricks, the roof was black, the windows were dim and the environment seemed very unfriendly. To top it off, it felt like shadows were following me around without their people. After I had stumbled my way down the steps, still naffed off with everyone because of the photo my mom had took, I had reached the school yard. There was nobody in sight, everyone that was with me before had gone as if they knew exactly where they were going, and it is only the first day. The playground was in floods of rain from the wreckage off the thunderstorm last weekend; and what made the terrifying place stand out more, was the sky. Dark grey coloured, with black clouds surrounding what would have been the sun. My first thoughts on a new school were great, until now. It's terrible... I'm practically scared of the place. 
I had taken a step towards the hysterical building, it made me feel nothing but frantic, my head kept repeating the words, "turn back now", and "get out while you can." But I thought that was just my nerves kicking in, so I continued walking forward. 
After I had gone up the steps and reached the school doors, I had begun to open them, I heard another voice, "GO NOW CHILD, WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE." the doors creaked open at the same time of the voice speaking and I had practically fell down the stairs, it was like a gust of wind telling me to leave before something bad happens. But I think the only bad thing about the place was the smell, ergh it smelt like someone had a departure from life and never shifted form the area they exited from. It wasn't a pleasant smell at all. I was curious though, I had heard voices telling me to leave before, but I couldn't see anyone around, at first I thought they were in my head as a vivid thing, but then I started to wonder. I mean, the school looks haunted; and because its old looking with darkness surrounding it, it had been summed up pretty well to be possessed. But I'm still unsure.
I felt like I was frequent to that building, like I was just a visitor and the rightful owner was telling me to leave as they didn't want to see me. Although I needed to attend school, I'm not sure I had a choice in this unless I wanted to get hurt. 
I turned around and headed off following my footsteps, I didn't want to go home and worry my mother as to why I wasn't attending school, but I couldn't lie to her either. I know that in some way she's going find out that I didn't go in today and she'll question me about it sooner or later; but at the same time, if I told her the truth, she'd turn negative and beg me to go back. So until the question arises; I'm stuck for answers.
I keep running over what did happen back there and I just can't explain it to myself without disbelief, even though I heard it with my own ears and experienced what it was like at the front doors of the school. I feel in some way crazy to of listened to the thoughts of "get away." It scared me off a little, it was quite drastic.
After I had walked out of the school yard, I had to decide on where to go, but I needed to ensure that I'd get back to the yard so that I could catch my bus. Because I'm new to Nashville, I have no idea on where I'm heading, and the bus driver seems to have a better idea on where I live than I do; so I can't miss it.