The Evil Candidate

Part 1

Chapter 1

      It's two-thirty in the morning and still no activity at Senator Livingston's Motel Room. Leroy has been listening to the same damned Conservative Radio Station for the past four hours. He has no clue what the morons who call in have to complain about but hey, it's a free country. Plus it's the only thing that keeps him awake during his long stake outs.

       'We need tuh take back our country and we need tuh do it NOW!' an irate caller yelled.

     Whenever Leroy heard people say that he wondered if God intentionally skipped a batch while distributing intelligence just to piss everyone else off. People seem to forget, or ignore, the fact that that the Indians were here long before the anybody else. But ignorance is bliss and the more he listened to the callers opine, the more he resented bliss. Leroy was very astute when it came to dealing with ignorant people most of whom could not perceive their opinions being wrong. Anyone that knows their ass from their elbow understands what a bonehead statement like 'We need to take our country back' really means.

       'Your damned right we have to take back our country! If we don't then we'll end up just like those cursed 'Third World' countries in the commercials begging for a handout! Our way of life will be reduced to mere peasantry!' the Radio Host replied.

      Leroy laughed at such an unbelievable rationalization. Ronald Crump, the shows host, was a known racist and misogynist, to name a few, but above all he was a mean son-of-a-bitch who reminded Leroy of little monsters that weren't supposed to get wet or be fed after midnight.

      Leroy never cared much for politics. To him politics was no more than a big circus show and he hated clowns, especially ambivalent clowns like Ronald Crump. But something about listening to idiots clamoring over the same world they helped create always put his mind at rest. He believed justice was being served and that kept him attentive while on a job. Justice gave Leroy peace of mind in a world bereft of peace of anything.

      'And yuh wuhnna know whut else?' the caller asked in an unmistakable Mississippi drawl.

      'Yes, please tell us...' Leroy said sarcastically.

      'Our pansy-ass Government needs to grow a pair and be more like the Natsees. Dem thur boys had the right idea when it came to tak'n out the trash if yuh know what ah mean?'

      Leroy grabbed a Chew Stick from my jacket pocket and chomped down on it. Peppermint flavored which is my favorite. It helps me with my cravings. I've been needing help less and less lately, but the cravings have been getting stronger and stronger.

     'AMEN BROTHER!!!!' Crump  yelled emphatically. His voice came through the speaker so loud it sounded like he was in the car with Leroy.

      Leroy turned the volume down, took a deep breath, and thought about his last bender. How if it weren't for John rushing him to the Emergency room he probably wouldn't be alive. He hadn't touched the stuff since that disastrous night six months ago, yet it's becoming harder and harder for him to resist the booze whenever the opportunity presented itself.

       'Well I don't wuhnna take up too much of yer time. I would jus like tuh add this much Ronald—'

        'Go on Brother. I'm hear and I care.' said Crump.

        '—We need more people like you who wuhnna make America Great again. If everyone in Congress had the same intestinal fortitude that you do then this country would be a much better place. That's all I wuhnna add. Goodnight and thanks fer takin my call.' the angered caller hung up. Automated cheers played I the background as Crump praised the ignoramus that just polluted the airwaves with his racist socio-babble.