The Sweetened Shadows

chapter 1

For many long years i have walked this world in search of my lost soul. But yet, i hear the smooth sounds of the man I once loved. I loved him so much. Being that he has been gone out of my life for so long, it's hard to wake up in the mornings without him in my arms. My heart still bleeds in the nights, those long cold lonely nights. Having your best friend taken away out of your life forever so... so painful! But i must go on and live my life taking care of my two boys Jacob and Marcel. My poor sons still thinks their dad is deployed in Iraq. It has been 4 long heart-breaking years without Brent. How do you tell a 4 yr old your dad is dead? Marcel is the only one who got a chance to meet their father. Brent was deployed a day after Marcel's 4th birthday. Brent never got a chance to meet Jacob. I was 8 months pregnant with Jacob at the time and i was so ready for him to come. It broke Brent's heart when he found out he had to leave before the arrival of our second child. The last thing he said to was,"Amber Rosalinda Smith, I love you. No matter how far we are from each other the love in my heart will always beat for you. You give me a reason to believe there is a brighter day. And yes we argue but that's what married people do. always remember you have to go through a little darkness to get the beautiful light." As i looked into his big brown eyes i said, "Brent Edgardo Smith, i love you more than the moon loves the stars. And no matter how far we are from each other i will always be thinking about you. Every second of every hour of every single day. you give me a reason to continue fighting for everything i believe in. And that's why i love you. You are my heart. you helped me create this beautiful family. And we will get through our differences in our marriage baby trust me. just come back to me safe please.. i love you." As we said our goodbyes and gave our last kisses and he kissed my big belly and whispered, "i will see you soon." from that day forward everything changed.