I hope they can't hear the voices in my head
They chant with remembrance of my past
And that scares me
I'm scared of pretty much everything
Pits of my stomach full of fear
Glasses half full
Spread throughout my room
With tears
And bottles full of emotion
I can't release
And that scares me
I don't want the corks to come loose
They'll pop open with abrasive force
I've been holding some things so long
I've forgotten them
Or at least buried them
Deep into my pillow cases
I have a lot of them
They make me feel comfort
Even when my demons are surrounding me
They scare me too
But I'm more scared of the things that are unseen
Like my future that I don't know whether I will see or not
I wish to sew my eyeballs to a calendar
Of a date that's later away
So that I won't focus on what will happen
And I will receive them when the time comes
I'm scared of my future
Because as of right now
It's darker than 1 am
When my lights are out
And my covers rest over my face
I'm scared of calendars
But my mom hangs one from the refrigerator
I see it every morning
I'm scared of school
A classroom full of misfit toys
Trying to find a place to fit in
But what happens when you don't fit the puzzle
And you are left on the rug
To be vacuumed up
I'm scared of my bedroom
Because I don't want to barricade
Myself in it longer than I need to
And I'm scared that If I do
I will become part of my floorboards
I'm scared that the people around me will notice
That I'm suffering
And they'll try to help me
Because help is something I've begged for
But could never take
Like begging for food but having too much pride
To actually eat it once it's handed to me
I'm scared people will see that my eyes have grown dull
And my crooked smile is only crooked
Because I've had to fake it
And the only reason they haven't noticed
Was because I've faked it so long
I'm scared of what will happen if they see me
I'm scared of what will happen if they don't
But I'm mostly scared of
What will happen when they hear the voices in my head
