Your dreams are as hungry as your demons

" You're meant to be free "

We're at our apartment and the boys are picking us up in about an hour and a half and I have absolutely no idea what to wear, I never really go out I have always been a read and chill type of person, but there's always a first time for everything. Valerie is wearing a floral print dress and it's needless to say that she looks gorgeous, while Brenda is wearing a pink collar dress and she's obviously looking beautiful as well. I have no idea what to wear so Brenda ends up picking a an outfit  for me, Brenda has such a good taste in fashion, she is wild and crazy in a good way, she will be studying fashion design at LA university.  Brenda ends up picking  a red loose formal shirt and some white shorts. I never really been a fan of getting myself looking all preppy but they say I look stunning so I trust them. Once the boys get here I start to feel something in my chest, there's something about Andres that makes me feel nervous as if he knows so much more about life that I do, I feel like he's wiser than all of us. He's the youngest from them but he's older than us. When Brenda opens the door he's wearing some dark blue jeans a black shirt with a green jacket that matches his eyes perfectly, they look greener than they did three hours ago but they look darker. I feel his stare burn my skin so I turn around and there he is, him and his stare I can feel his deep stare inside me and then he turns around. I made eye contact with him for 2 second but I swear it felt like a lifetime, like if time had stopped but in a good way. I've always wanted time to go by fast as I'm always waiting for my time at NY but in this moment I'd really wish time had stopped , it felt like it did but I wish it really had.

Once we arrive to the plaza I'm 100% glad I came, it's so beautiful there's a ceiling outside with tons of red glass heart and star lights hanging from it, it's so illuminating, so breathtaking. Once we get there we sit on a table and the boys order for us what they considered the best dishes in here. We eat some very exquisite shrimps filled with cheese wrapped with bacon strips, food is something I'm very strict with myself about, I strongly believe that you are what you eat. Andres and I haven't talked, weird thing is he talks with everyone but me, Valerie, Brenda, Nacho everyone but me. Everyone knows him, the young,old,males and females we can say he has a high profile in here. Valerie and Brenda are dancing with the boys while Carlos and I have some wine, I'm not an alcohol type of person but some wine and a book has never done me wrong. Andres is nowhere to be found & honestly I think I just broke my wine record, I've had about 7 cups now and I'm starting to feel kind of dizzy. A girl asks Carlos out to dance so I'm left alone, I don't feel like being here so I just stand up and walk and walk and walk until I end up in a park, its kind of like a hill with a nice river. I've probably shouldn't come here as I know nothing about this place but my brain isn't really working right now. I lay down and look up at the sky and I start to think about the universe, how I felt it today inside of me, how I felt in the sky today dancing around Jupiter's orbit tracing my way thru the constellations. Without thinking I start singing " Something's coming" from West Side Story my favorite play, I got a feeling there's a miracle due, Gonna come true, Coming to me! Could it be? Yes, it could. Something's coming, something good. ¨Regina is that you?" A strong Spanish accent coming from behind  interrupts me, I know exactly who it is and for a moment I've forgotten how to speak and how to stand up, this is probably due to the fact that I'm completely drunk for the first time ever. "It's me Andres." and he lays down next to me acknowledging the fact that I have no intentions on standing up. " Keep singing " he tells me and I can't. For the first time ever I feel embarrassed because someone heard me sing, I know I sound great I can never actually sound bad, it's not that I'm over confident, it's just a simple fact. "No" I tell him. " You sounded pretty good to me." · " I know, I mean thanks, its what I do, it's my gift. " " I think life itself is a gift, don't you? " he tells me " I think life is where you should apply your gift." I answer him " Tell me your story Regina. " he tells me out of the blues " Well I was born to be on broadway, I've been on drama classes ever since I can remember and I'm finally going to NY in two months." " No, I mean your real story, why is life so beautiful to you?" he interrupts me " I don't know, I  honestly  don't" . " Don't you think Broadway has consume you? and you're not even there yet." He asks and suddenly I don't feel drunk anymore so I stand up and just walk walk away I walk for what it feels like forever until I feel an arm grabbing me. " Regina, let me show you what life is really about, I will make this two months the best ones you ever had, but there might be a lot of confusion and you might start to feel different about yourself and life itself. " "What does this mean" I ask him, " This means that I see something in your eyes, you don't really know what's going on, you seem extraordinary but you just don't know it, I feel a vibe in you. I really feel like knowing you, your true self and I think so should you. " he tells me " I do want to remember this trip, I want to remember this two months forever but you're drunk and so am I so shut up Andres." he laughs " Regina, you don't remember days, you remember moments and yes we might be drunk but that does not change the fact that you want to explore the world, stop acting like you just want to be at New York, I saw your eyes when we where showing you around, whenever you got lost in this beautiful city you quickly brought New York and Broadway up and thats not okay, you're meant to be free. " he tells me with passion on his eyes. " Regina oh my god we have been looking for you for like forever " Brenda screams, " Sorry I was just looking at the sky." " Are you drunk?" Valerie asks. " Probably " " What time is it? " I ask, " 4 am. " " I think we should head home," I tell Valerie and Brenda. " NO " Andres screams " just two more hours till the sunrise, it's beautiful." " Okay " I tell him, " Just get me some coffee and I'm ok with it " Brenda says. We all get some coffee and sweet bread from the Starbucks down the road and we all take a seat in the park afterwards. " With every new sunrise we get the opportunity to be a better version of ourselves. " Andres whispers in my ear,  I get chills up and down my spine. I stay quite until the sun rises while the rest of them talk but Andres is taking pictures, taking pictures of them and me. Then suddenly the sun starts to rises and it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, the colors are so stunning, after gazing at the sunrise for an hour we head back to our apartment and the boys make sure we get there safe. Once Valerie, Brenda and I get home they fall asleep instantly but I don't, because I get the sudden urge to write about tonight.I don't know how Im feeling so I just write, I write everything down. I write what Andres told me and I also write about the eight or seven cups of wine I had. Funny thing is that after writing 6 pages I still don't understand what just happen tonight. I keep on repeating his words on my head. You're meant to be free. What does he mean by that? I am free, and I know who I am and I know that Im going to make it big on broadway. I end up falling asleep until 8 AM.

I hear a knock on the door that wakes me up at 12 pm. I go to Brenda's room and then to Valery's room and they are both asleep. Who can it possibly be and what could they possibly want. I peck at the door and its Andres, I see him and I immediately close it, I wash my face and make myself a ponytail in less than a minute and then I open the door again. "What are you doing in here? " I ask. " Figuring out and finding yourself starts now, come on change, we're heading to the mountains. " "What? We barely had four hours of sleep. " " I know but that's the reason coffee exists, now hurry, change. " " Okay fine but wait for about fifteen minutes. " " As soon as I get inside my room I smile, the smile I've been hiding ever since I first saw him yesterday at the restaurant. I leave a note at the kitchen apartment to let the girls know Im heading out.

You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it. - Barbara Streisand