I Was Here Once

The crusher

'I came to exterminate your drams from faith to trash your dreams shall crash under my feet'

yours dear family~

..............

I had so many dreams some are things that I will not ever achieve but some of them are things that I can do.

I can't though.

I don't have very big dreams like becoming famous or rich, nor I want to be some one that people take as an example or leave a print in history.

I just wish to be a simple person that is successful and inspiring to those who need inspiration, I want to be successful for my self to be able to live. to be successful so I make my family proud of me. so I could raise a family of my own or support my family with any thing they need.

I can't though.

I am trying so hard to achieve not only education and a job in the future.
I am trying so very hard to achieve my family's love and accept, there support......but nothing.

And what hurts most I am the one to be blamed for my failure.
yeah sure I am part of it, i am the one who failed after all.

I didn't try harder.

I didn't do enough.

I gave up too soon.

I surrendered.

I wasn't ready.

Ok sure I did all of that but what about what you did to me huh?

You never listened when I needed a break.

You never thought of what I wanted.

You never respected my decisions.

You never even considered my choices.

You always treat me like I am a stupid child.

You are always right, I am always wrong.

Your orders should be my commands.

I should listen and obey silently.

"You know what I ain't a dog" I would finally say.

"Look at that insolent child. is that how we raised you" they would accuse me.

They turn there backs on me ignore my feelings and attempts to get back on my feet.

They would even push me back on my ass by saying that they knew I would fail they knew I was a loser from the start.

.........................

The Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light;
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

By: W. B. Yeats