I don't really know how to write one of these, I'm bad at English in general, I've been threw a few tough times in my life, depression is one of them and a few others I might get into, but for now I'm just going to right down what had been happening in my life, enjoy.
So my days start of like this, I get woken up by annoying dad, who is crazy at times, get up and have a warm shower, soak in it until mum screams that I am wasting the hot water, I get out and lay on my bed wasting time for 20 minutes until my mum yells at me to hurry up, I usually miss breakfast in the morning, which is the most important meal of the day, and walk to the car where I get dropped off to school.
I get to school around 30 minutes before class starts, so I have plenty of time to kill, talking about kill, it's probably what I'd like to do to half the kids in my grade. Some of my 'friends' are already at school, they say their hellos and some high five me, most of them are arrogant pricks who talk shit behind my back, but sometimes I'd just like to forget about it, cause well, apart from 1 other person, they are my only 'friends'.
I usually just sit there, quietly, either pretending to listen to music or read in my usual spot. It's 9:10, my first class starts at 9:15, I really wanna say hi to her but she isn't here, let's just call her ruby, ruby is the most perfect person in the world, like nobody is actually perfect as perfect ranges from person to person but in my eyes she is just adorable, ruby is the only person in grade 10 who I actually would die for, and well at the moment she is going through depression, I'm trying to help her but I don't think I am getting through to her. I don't know if I should just quit while I am at it, but I can't. I'm probably the worst person to give compliments, ever. I'm seriously more harmful than helpful if I wanna say she is super pretty or that she looks amazing, I just find a way to mess it up.
Anyway that's pretty much everyday at school, at lunch I sit with her against the brick wall were we always sit, I'm a pretty awkward person so I suck at making a conversation so sometimes we just sit there and like never speak, which sucks, anyway school is school and that passes, but what doesn't pass you is your pass, peoples are different and you never know what someone else is going through, I won't go into full detail of how I got to the point but I had deppreseion a couple of months back, not the fake one where you're just looking for attention, the one how your all emotions. I never really told anyone this, well who would I tell, other than ruby there is no-one else to tell.
so well school is suppose to be the best part of your life, but for me and I guess many others it's the worst, it's so loud and noisy and everyone here are just plain idiots, and well no one gets me here,
Depression, you probably know people with it, I had it for several months, would cry in class for no reason each time I thought of something I love and knowing it is slipping away I felt lost and just felt like crying. But mine was caused by pills which I was taking for a disease I won't go to in depth with that, so let's just keep it at that.people with depression tell others to just not help them, but you just can't stand around and let demons torment them you have to step in, maybe it's not the right option but it my mind it is, and it's just depressing telling them everything you ever loved about them and how special they are just to hear 3 words "I don't care".
