Barks and Bytes - A Sonic Boom Story

Chapter 5 - The Bully's Revenge, With the Help of a Doctor

When Terra arrived to Eggman's lair, she noticed the rocky ground and all of the security contraptions around the area. "No garden here, and lots of machines everywhere! You must have been so filthy rich to have a high-tech luxury home like this!"

"Don't ask how I've become this wealthy," replied Eggman, unlocking the entrance door with a remote. "Now follow me, Terra, and I'll take you to my living room."

By the time the two entered the living room/laboratory hybrid, Terra couldn't believe his eyes. "Whoa, look at all of these stuff! Cool robots, a huge computer, a real TV, and a decent couch! Like, this is so much better than my junkyard home!" Then, she began to go wild. Like really wild. First, she jumped on the sofa like it was a trampoline. "This is fun, man!"

"Hey, easy on the couch!" cried Eggman. "I just vacuumed it!"

"Too bad, dipwad. Ya brought me to your territory, and now I can have it." Later, the tanuki bully spotted the pantry, swiped the doctor's remote off his hands, and used the remote to open up the larder full of snacks. "I call dibs on them onion ring chips!"

"Don't get any crumbs on the floor!"

Much to Eggman's dismay, the raccoon dog did the opposite and sloppily devoured every snack bag in sight, leaving a huge mess of slobber and bits on the couch, the table, and the floor.

"This is why I hate having guests around," groaned the doctor. "Like this one. Hopefully, she's no worse than Kyle the Gorilla, who was a heck of a nuisance..."

Sometime soon, with the help of Eggman and his new ad program, Terra got to the obligation of advertising The Fast and the Fastor, using the doctor's computer. "Man, now I really wish I had a computer like yours, Eggward."

"It's Eggman, you dolt."

"Eggman, Eggward, Eggwad, whatever! Now, can I use your credit card to pay for them ads?"

The doctor informed, "First things first, Terra. In order to advertise the right way, there are some certain steps to follow before then. Break them, and you become a nuisance. One, know your audience, whether it's gamers, artists, etc. Since no one is born the same, don't try to please people when you know you can't. After all, not everyone likes video games. Two, know where you'll be advertising, depending on the situation or the place, because trust me, you'd be wasting cash, as in my cash, if you don't. Three, control yourself, because too much advertising will be money-draining as well, and not everyone will at all be interested in buying the game. The forth's a big one: Know your product. Don't lie or treat the audience like idiots, because they always know what quality is, and if the product is destined to flop, there's no reason to over-promote it in the first place. I'm telling you these because I don't want you to make the same mistakes I made while commercializing a revision of my homemade tomato sauce."

"I'll just see what I can do, Eggward."

"It's Egg-MAN! You do this on purpose, don't you?"

Unfortunately, Terra broke all four rules and bombarded every website she could find with her ads, citing that The Fast and the Fastor was the greatest game of all time. Unfooled by the poor presentation, many angered users refused attention and looked away from them all.

However, she wasn't doing this just to nag everyone to play her game; she was doing this in attempt to overshadow the popularity of my game. Regardless of where I went, whether it was a wiki, a video website, or all others, what she sent were a hurricane of commercials and a flood of spam letters in my email account, both egging me to try his game. To counter these problems, I tried closing all those windows deleting the letters, but they just kept coming, and coming. And COMING!