Anonymous letters

3--- Nowhere

""

Allison walked home in the chilly October air. Neither Lucas, nor James were at school today, and there was no note. As she walked home, Allison made list of things that could've happened

-They were absent, and couldn't get the letter to her
-They no longer wanted to write notes to her
-They had been poisoned by school food
-They had been killed by all the reckless bus drivers
-They switched schools

Though most were irrational, they were still possible! She thought as she pushed the elevator button in the apartment building that her family lived in. Once safely inside those doors, she attempted to run straight to her room, but failed, and was stopped by her mother, father, sister, and brothers.

"Ally!" Her mother yelled to her. Allison internally groaned and trudged back into the kitchen. She sat at the table, where Paula, her mother, her father, Chase, and Alfie were already seated.

"How was everyones day?" Her father asked, grunts came feom Paula and her, a smile from her mother, Chase, amd Alfie.

"How about you, Dan?" Her mother asked, not looking her father in the eye.

"Good, thanks." He responded, not looking up from his papers. Allison began to sense a tension in the room.

"What's wrong?" Paula asked, feeing the tension too.

"Nothing!" He mother burst out. Allison felt her breathing hitch a bit. Slowly frekaing, out. Slowly, slowly, she felt it creeping up in her throat and her eyes. "Kids these days! Not everything is meant for you to know, theres ne need to be so selfish!" Her mother was yelling, which was something that only rarely happened. Allison quickly stood up, and speed walked to her room.

In and out, in and out, in and out. Allison reminded herself. Calm. In, out, in, out. Her breath only became faster and shorter, and her face became streaked with tears. Can't breathe, can't breathe, cant't breathe. No, distraction. No note. Note writer doesn't want to help her. No. She needed a distraction. Allison's quivering fingers reached around her bed and found her yarn and knitting needles. She attempted to distract herself, which sometimes work. But now her hands were shaking to much to even so much as hold the needles without the yarn almost falling off. That only intensified her panic. Failure, failure, failure. Allison repeated to herself in a hushed whisper, barely managing to get the words out with her lack of breath.

"Allison, it's ok." Paula seemed to materialize out of no where next to her. "In and out, in and out." I tried to breath with her words, which she kept repeating, but failed and couldn't calm down. More tears streamed down her face, and she began to shake more violently. No. No. No. Her 'panic yarn' that she kept in a make-shift bracelet was no longer there. No. No. No. No distraction, no help to keep her on earth. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't move. All she could do was sit, shaking as sobs wracked her body.

-/-/-

What felt like an eternity later to Allison, Paula calmed her down and left her in her room. Allison's fingers frantically searched her bedsheets fro her phone. Which she hit too hard before she realized she had.

"Ow." Her fingers closed around the phone, and brought it out of the blue sheets.

On her screen, she saw multiple notifications. All from Rory, Lucas, and James. Approximately 5 missed calls from the three, and an invitation to a sleepover (which wasn't called a sleepover, saying it was from guys) at Rory's house for all four of us tomorrow night.

Allison's eyes widened as she read and re-read the invitation.

"No way." She whispered. Allison had had many friends who came and go (who probably were the reason for her anxiety, but she didn't like to say so), but never from those temporary friends had she gotten invited to a sleepover. The thought of her all alone at a boys sleepover sent off sirens in her head. But she managed to breath, and ask her mom about it.

"H-hey Mom?" Allison stuttered. Her mom didn't look up from the carrot she was chopping. "Can I go to a sleepover tomorrow night.?"

"Sure whatever." Her mom waved a hand in dismissal. Allison pulled in a shaky breath and walked out of the kitchen.

She texted Rory yes, to which he immediately responded with a 'yay' and practically a million exclamation points.

She opened her backpack to start her homework, but found herself looking at her suspects page again. Only two suspects remained.

-James Taylor
-Lucas Marei

Two, two, two. She thought.

But what if she was wrong? What if she approached James or Lucas and they denied it? What would she do? She was sure the humiliation would never end, and her friendship would be ruined.

Allison attempted to put all worries aside, and focus on packing for the sleepover.

"Pillow, sleeping bag, pajamas," Allison recited. Her eyes burning from the late hour. 3:57am  according to her phone. "Clothes for the next day," she took a seat on her bed to choose them, but was asleep before she could decide.

-/-/-

Allison groaned at the sound of her alarm blaring for the third time this morning. She rolled onto the floor out of her bed, and pulled on leggings and a sweatshirt, some sneakers, and walked downstairs. Rubbing her eyes, she toasted some bread, and pulled her phone out.

A few minutes later, she was out the door. Allison walked to the bus stop, the fresh spring-like air swirling around her as she ate her toast and walked.

When the bus finally groaned up to the stop, she entered, and slinked into a seat in the back, and attempted to be unseen by Lucas, who had just came onto the bus. But to no avail, Lucas came and sat in the empty seat right next to her.

"Hey." He said, nodding in her direction.

"Hi." Allison responded, her head dipping down a little.

Lucas attempted to stir up conversation for a little, but soon left when Alexander Gration sat a few seats up. Lucas switched seats. But before he did so, he said 'sorry, talk to you later, Allison.'

Once she was safely in band class she saw her note. It was adorning her sheet music, in her binder, and she went to read it.

---A/N---

Hey!

It's like midnight I think, oops...

Um yeah, short filler.

Was that panic attack decent? I kinda based it off mine.

Only 2 more days of school!! Yay!

Expect different updating, due to vacations and stuff.

Thanks for reading, commenting, and voting!

Love ya!

❤️Liz