His Uncertain Territory (BoyxBoy)

Chapter ~ 8

Chapter ~ 8

"Is everything okay down there!" I heard Marcia call cheerfully as they came down the steps.

"Er, yeah," I muttered running my hands through my hair, trying to hold my insides together.

"You don't look it" She observed coming closer to me.

"I...I'm fine, I guess I'm not feeling too well" I lied under her scrutinising gaze.

"You sure? Where's Quinn?"

"He went home"

"Why?" She pouted.

"I don't know!"I growled and then picked up my bag throwing it over my shoulder. "Sorry, I've got to go," I told them and then went. I didn't know really why I left. I didn't know whether I wanted to find Quinn or not but what I did know was that I couldn't be near anyone right now. I sat in my car and slammed my hands against the steering wheel, there were so many thoughts conflicting within my head. I felt like I could go mad. I was so confused.

On the one hand - I was gay and I liked Quinn a lot more than I knew I should. But on the other hand, I knew it was wrong. I shouldn't feel like this towards a guy. I couldn't feel like this towards a guy. I can't get close to him, because what if I did? What if I fell in love with him and some girl came along and took him away from me? What then?

This was the moment in time where the weather would take a sudden turn for the worse. It would pour down with rain with the sudden edge of thunder every now and then just for that real emotional edge, and my stereo would start playing some depressing sad music and I'd drown my sorrows until I looked up and saw Quinn's retreating figure in my rear view mirror. My mind would miraculously clear and I'd leap out in the pouring rain to catch up with him. I would wrap my arms around him and tell him everything in some dramatically- overly emotional scene and I would cry into his shirt and he would wrap his arms around me while whispering sweet confessions into my ears.

But of course, that didn't happen.

Eventually, I put the keys into the ignition and pulled out of Chase's drive. I didn't see Quinn on the way home although boy did I look, so when I finally pulled up to the drive I was still in the same depressive state.

No one was home. It was late, there was a note on the fridge which basically said 'if you get bored at that 'losers' house then come to Aaron's party.' A few seconds later the note found itself crushed within the contour of my fist and then carelessly chucked in the trash.

I looked down at it for a couple more seconds before I changed my mind. There was no way in hell I would be able to stay here and not think about him, so I grabbed a hold of my jacket and walked back out of the house.

It was the early hours of the morning when I finally stepped foot inside of Aarons house party, so of course by this time I was probably the only sober one here. I pushed my way past a few people until I finally caught sight of Nick.

"Aw my man" He slurred, pulling me into a man hug and then handing me a drink. "I wondered why you let her drag you to sleep around some dudes house" He laughed and I said nothing as I downed whatever bottle of beer he handed me and then looked for another one.

Nick got distracted at this point as a girl wrapped her arm around him and dragged him towards the stairs. Someones getting lucky.... Again. I almost laughed to myself but couldn't due to the fact I was now onto shots with whoever the guys next to me was. I wasn't paying attention to whom they were because frankly, I didn't give a fuck.

I looked across the living room. It was the stage of the party where everyone was off their face. I knew that no one would remember this in the morning, and as I looked at David and.... Lucas, on the couch with their tongues down each other's throats; I'm sure they wouldn't want to remember it when they woke up. I chuckled to myself as I grabbed another shot off the table and downed it. I didn't let it settle before I found myself picking up another and drowning that as well. It burned my throat, but a part of me liked the way it hurt, I wanted to feel pain. I wanted to somehow delude myself into thinking that the pain I felt was a way of helping me forget about my feelings. In the old fashion way I wanted to drown my sorrows. I wanted to forget...

I wanted to forget the fact that I was falling for a guy I knew near to nothing about.

"Well hi there Ethan, No Marcia today?" I looked over to my side to see a girl snake her hand down my arm.

I shook my head and she gave me a suggestive grin.

"Then what are you waiting for" She whispered into my ear and then tugged onto my jeans as she leads me towards the stairs. I looked at the stairs and then back to her. She was who I belonged with; someone who my pack would approve of- who my father would be proud of me for 'banging,' or a girl of whom my mother would be happy to see me marry. And that's who she was- that girl, that model girl my mind had developed as 'the one.' The one I dreaded, and looking at her made me feel sick. I didn't want that 'one girl,' because however 'right' she seemed to everyone else. She wasn't right for me – I wasn't talking about the girl who was right now pulling me up the stairs. I was talking about girls in general. No one could be 'the one.' because my one would be a guy... No. My one wouldn't be just 'a guy' It would be Quinn. My heart clenched at the very thought of him. I wanted to be in his arms right now not entering a room with this chick. I didn't want to do this... I didn't, I won't.

"What you waiting for babe?"

"I have a girlfriend" I gulped.

"I won't tell if you don't" She smirked.

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