The Walking Retainer

Chapter 2

     We pay Senior Gomez in 3 rolls of goat cheese and my first born son. He immediately flushes him down the toilet and it overflows, causing him to plunge it down.  We exit the insane asylum and hopscotch to the Patty Wagon. We sail the ocean blue on our cottage cheeseburger and accidentally discover Nigeria. We plant a pride flag on the entrance. We pick some cotton along the way to create bibs that block the pesto sauce from entering our breast crack. Once we reach home I take an uber up to the canopies of our treehouse. I pay the uber driver with second born son. I fix myself a quick snack of pesto pudding. I used my new Nigerian bib that i quilted myself. Oh nuts! Its 11:11 make a wish...

"I wish for more wishes!" an unknown presence screamos throughout the complex. "Who goes durr?" I whisper. All of a sudden a worm wriggles out from under my fuse ball table. "whats your name lil gentile Jew?" I acapella to the worms earlobe. The worm suddenly sprouts into a Brussel sprout and lays on the ground. "Hello madam my name is Venus Williams. After winning the bronze cup at the Bronze Baby Boomer summer academy, I hatched my first eggs with my baby boo Lebron on the dusk of a humid and moist winter night. Lebron divorced me and kicked me out on the sidewalk of Shoonie Hit Jr. I went inside and ate an adequate amount of Brussel sprouts I turned into one! and then I rolled through the prairie and stumbled onto your treehouse and I took an Uber up to the canopies of your complex and took camp underneath your fuse ball table." After the long intermission, here we are, a retired tennis playing Brussel sprout just trying to make it thru tha world. Too bad I'm not a homeless person living off the sands of Santa Monica Peir because they get to wake up to the sunrise everydayy guh😩 "it's an honor to meet you Micheal Phelps. I loved watching you jui jitsu on television on the PBS channel!" Kim screams. "So what are you up to?" "oh you know I just got my train track metalloids off and I got my retainer for the firssstt time" I moan. "Oo interesting let me see the retainer" Venus says. Kim chucks the retainer at Venus's booty crack and Venus crawls under the fuse ball table on all fours. "I think I'm hillicunating I better hit the hay good morning" Kim karaokes. Mike wazowski skateboards underneath the wooden cracks of Kim's newspaper mattress from the Contributor. He knaws at her nose hairs but his retainer gets in the way and gets stuck in the weave. He grabs his food processor from his fanny pack to try to break the electric current. (Beware mike wazowski is the walking retainer that tries to invade her conscious and posses her into sacrificing her retainer to the Greek frat gods Alpha Alpha Pheta.) Mike tries to slither his way up her breast implants but she hits him with her fly swatter that she keeps incase her inbred brother tries to steal her camouflage Velcro chacos in the middle of the night. Mike hisses and crawls into a rusty corner with