If any of you have been though or are going through any of these problems yourself just to let you know stay strong and never let it ruin your life. Ilya <3
Chapter 1
Diana
I walk down the old smelly alley towards my house, I count my footsteps as they pound against the broken up concrete, as I come to my front door I take a deep breath in, this looks like an ordinary house for an ordinary family with an ordinary life, but I shame myself to call it a home, I pushed the old door open slowly, I close my eyes as it creaked.
I walked down the tightly packed hall trying hard not to trip on any of the mess on the floor or to knock any whine/beer cans and bottles over, just in case I wake up Steve, Steve is my mums boyfriend.
I look into the living room, Steve is passed out in his usual chair with the beer bottle in his hand, the tv is still on he was watching some game.
My mums at work, she works at the local bar all day and sometimes at night it depends, so I'm here on my own pretty much.
I creep up the stairs, my room is tidy and neat unlike all the other rooms in this god for saken house, my room is quite nice and neat luckily, I have light pink walls from when I was a child, I had to reprint them myself, I have white curtains and a small rickety wooden desk, a small single bed with plain white covers sits against one wall, In one of the corners there's a small wooden cupboard with a few outfits not meany, beside my bed a little table sits there with a lamp and a old picture frame of me and my dad before he died in side of it on top of the table, underneath the table are a stack of books that I read from time to time, I also have a medium size box, the box is black with light pink spots I've had it since I was 5 my dad made it, its filled with sketch books and pencils, pens, paints and pastels, all sent from my Aunt, I love the draw more then anything, it helps me to get away from.. everything.
I have an iPod nano that my aunt gave me for Christmas but my mother has no idea about it and I intend to keep it that way, my friends from school download songs for me and have gotten me into a few bands I'm not to sure about the names but I like those five boys.. One direction, my best friend Mackenzie gave me a poster of them that I keep under my pillow, the poster has them standing together holding some sort of award not sure what its called the background is colourful and at the top of the poster it says in big bold blue writing 'ONE DIRECTION'
I take the poster out from under my pillow and stare at it in awe, I take my iPod nano out from my blazer pocket and plug my earphones, I play little things, the song just takes me away, it helps me remember that I'm beautiful even though I'm not, there voices put me in a trance, then came my favourite part 'I know you never loved the sound if your voice on tape you never want to know how much you weigh, you still have to squeeze into to your jeans but your perfect to me' his voice is so mesmerising, I don't know witch one from one direction sings it but that doesn't matter I'm in love with his voice- "DIANA!" my thoughts were cut off by a deep angry voice, Steve must have woken.
I turn off my iPod and hide it under my pillow along with my poster, I walk out of my door "yes?" I shout down the stairs "get the hell down here now" he booms, walk down the messy stairs and into the living room, Steve had dark bags under his grey eyes, he towered over me like a skyscraper making me feel intimidated, he threw the beer bottle at the wall, I watched all the the little piece shattered everywhere and some beer trickled down the wall "have you done my dinner?" he asks, shit I forgot, now I'm in for it "no" my little voice squeaked out "what? I fucking told you to have it ready by the time I woke up you stupid girl" he shouts so load I think I can feel the floor vibrating, he clenches his strong hands around my arm making my squeal in pain "you better get out of my sight before I heart you like the last time" he spits through his teeth "no please don't" I start to cry "GO!" he screams as I run upstairs to my room, I pack my bag with my school uniform, pyjamas, spear undergarments, iPod, my poster and hair brush and toothbrush, I make my way downstairs "I'm going to Mackenzie's" I tell Steve "I don't care if your here or not just leave" he growls as I walk out the fount door.
I run as fast as I can down the street maybe tripping in a few places, I hate Steve he's ruined my life and my own mother has helped him along that one, I'd rather be we're my father is, I wish I could join him but I never get the courage to, I make my way to Mackenzie's house, I knock at the door several times, she finally answers "hey!" the blond chirps "hello" I put on my best smile "come in" she tells me, I follow her up into her big bedroom "hey Mack an I stay over tonight is that ok?" I ask unsure "yeah that more than fine" I give her a thank you smile and put my bag on the floor "how comes you want to stay here?". She asks confused, I think now I should tell her "well you know puce never been in my house? and I always have nightmares?" I begin "yes" she sits on her bed next to me "well Steve... my mum... they, t-they hurt me sometime" I confess "you mean like abuse?" She asks confused "yea.." I slightly whisper "and you never told me? Oh Diana, I'm so sorry, I wish I could have been there all these years, I wish you'd just let me in" she pulls me in for a hug, I hug her back "look Mackenzie you can't tell anyone
ok?" I look her deep in the eyes "Diana you any just leave this unnoticed, you have to tell someone, you can't live with them monsters and I can't let you" her breathing becomes heavy "don have an anxiety attack, please clam down" I rub her back "in and out" I instruct her and she obeys, her breathing become more steady "I want to tell someone just as much as you do, but I can't ok" I tell her, she goes to say something "look can we just drop it" I say to her, she decides to let it go but says one last thing "you could always stay here" she pats my hands, I nod "thank you" I tell her honestly.
"Well I was going to tell you tomorrow but I might as well tell you now" Mackenzie begins "my mom brought me and you... TICKETS TO SEE ONE DIRECTION" she shouts "are you kidding?!" I shout back "nope, it's not till next month" she flaps her arms around.
My mum will never allow me to go, I know it, I'm going to be stuck at home, I dread to think what she'll do just for my asking, Mackenzie will bring up the whole telling someone thing, but honestly I don't want to, I grew up with my dad in that place and staying there is the only thing that keeps me connected to him, I just wish he hadn't of died.
